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Jessica Alba

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Cash Warren is really not all that hot, IMHO.

Neither is she.

 

I think she's hot (not in that dress though), but I can't stand her delusions of grandeur about the type of acting career she seems to think she deserves.

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Jessica's Dangerous Oscar Slipup

 

Expectant mother Jessica Alba had a scary fall at the Academy Awards on Sunday night. On her MySpace blog, the actress reveals that while she was happy she didn’t flub her lines or trip on her dress while recapping the winners of the Scientifical and Technical Achievement awards, she did get tripped up offstage.

 

“I did have a stumble backstage outside of the green room. Cash caught one arm the other hit the floor.”

 

She added: “Luckily all the photogs were taking pics of Cameron D.”

 

The actress, who told E!’s Ryan Seacrest that she’s in her third trimester, confessed that she and fiancé Cash Warren ditched the Governor’s Ball and the rest of the after-parties. “We opted for sweats and In ‘N’ Out burgers,” she writes. “Being preggers kind of takes the fun out of partying until the wee hours. Sleep always sounds so much better these days.”

 

Jessica also describes her current mood as “blissful” and signs off “JAY-EH.” See her entire blog post after the jump...

 

I’M BAAAAACK

 

HI EVERYONE

SO I'VE BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE A. I'VE BEEN PRETTY BUSY B. TERRIBLE EXCUSE WHO ISN'T BUSY. C. REAL REASON, I'VE BEEN OBSESSED WITH THIS NEW SITE CALLED IBEATYOU. IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS I'M GOING TO POST A PRIVATE INVITE TO MY MYSPACE FRIENDS. SERIOUSLY IT'S BEEN WARPING MY BRAIN. IT'S A WEBSITE THAT REVOLVES AROUND COMPETITIONS OF EVERY KIND. I'M A COMPETITIVE PERSON BY NATURE SO THE FACT THAT I'M PRACTICALLY DREAMING ABOUT SOME OF THESE COMPS IS TO BE EXPECTED.... SOMEWHAT. LOL.

 

I PRESENTED LAST NIGHT AT THE OSCARS IT WAS A PRETTY GREAT NIGHT. I LOVE JOHN STEWART THE DAILY SHOW IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS HANDS DOWN. I WAS ROOTING FOR JAVIER BARDEM, DIABLO CODY AND MARION COTILLARD SO HAPPY FOR THEM ALL. MEETING LIL MISS ELLEN PAGE WAS A HIGHLIGHT, JUNO WAS BY FAR ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES I'VE SEEN. AN INSTANT CLASSIC AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, GREAT WRITING AND A GREAT CAST. ANOTHER HIGHLIGHT WAS THE FACT THAT I DIDN'T MESS UP MY LINES OR TRIP ON MY DRESS (ON STAGE). I DID HAVE A STUMBLE BACKSTAGE OUTSIDE OF THE GREEN ROOM. CASH CAUGHT ONE ARM THE OTHER HIT THE FLOOR. LUCKILY ALL THE PHOTOGS WERE TAKING PICS OF CAMERON D. LOOKING GORGEOUS IN PINK I MIGHT ADD. ANOTHER HIGHLIGHT OF LAST NIGHT WAS INSTEAD OF HITTING UP THE GOVERNORS BALL OR ANY OTHER PARTY, WE OPTED FOR SWEATS AND IN 'N' OUT BURGERS. BEING PREGGERS KIND OF TAKES THE FUN OUT OF PARTYING UNTIL THE WEE HOURS. SLEEP ALWAYS SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER THESE DAYS.

 

WELL CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IF YOU ALL GET AS HOOKED ON IBEATYOU AS I AM. IT'S NOT PUBLIC YET SO THIS IS KIND OF A MEMBERS ONLY SITUATION. I'LL BE BACK IN A FEW DAYS TO POST THE LINK. UNTIL THEN LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST PUT OUT ALL THE LOVE INTO THE WORLD YOU WANT IN RETURN. I DO READ YOUR POSTS SO PLEASE CONTINUE TO WRITE. IT'S JUST TOUGH TO RESPOND TO SO MANY AMAZINGLY INSIGHTFUL, THOUGHTFUL PEOPLE. PEACE AND LOVE~JAY_EH

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JESSICA'S BURDEN

 

JESSICA Alba knows the trauma of developing a big chest at an early age - she says she was labeled a sixth-grade slut by her elementary school principal and a couple of "self-righteous" PTA moms. "The accusation still ricochets . . . They think I'm a slut?," Alba recalls in "If I'd Known Then," Ellyn Spragins' upcoming book of essays by female celebrities. Alba adds: "Boys are awful. They are made of nothing but hormones until they're about 20 or 21 . . . It's fun to have a crush, but don't think it's forever . . . And use birth control and condoms, please."

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Sixth-Grade SLUT!!!!

 

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Jessica Alba wrote an essay for Ellyn Spragins' upcoming book of essays from female celebrities. Oh and by"wrote" I mean she probably had someone else do it while she shouting obscenities at them and talking about her brown baby.

 

Jessica said that in the sixth-grade she had big boobs and because of that the principal and some PTA moms deemed her a "slut." I don't see a problem? Where I come from that's a compliment. It's better than being called "caca pants" by your classmates. I'll tell you the story sometime over canapés and Hennessey.

 

She went on to say, "Boys are awful. They are made of nothing but hormones until they're about 20 or 21 . . . It's fun to have a crush, but don't think it's forever . . . And use birth control and condoms, please."

 

Now...I'm not one to judge (you can wipe the coffee off your computer screen, I really did say that, but I didn't mean it), but Jessica Alba is telling people to use birth control and condoms? This coming from a woman who is knocked up by a man that has allegedly cheated on her ass several times? That's rich! Oh and Jessica, boys are also made of snips, snails and puppy dog tails! Didn't you learn anything in school? Obviously not, because you were too busy being a sixth-grade slut!

 

http://www.dlisted.com/

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1) I agree that getting boobs before any of your classmates sucks and does lead people to think you're a slut. Why, I don't know, since the biggest slut in our class was a gymnast with no tits at all....

 

2) I agree that people should use condoms and birth control if they don't want disease and/or children

 

3) WTF does she think anyone is going to listen to and/or care what she has to say on the subject???

 

 

Re: the caps--some people believe they are easier to read. I cannot tell you how many times I tried to convince my mother-in-law that sentence case is much easier to read, and if someone has bad vision--increase the font size, don't make it ALL CAPS. My husband tried to reason with her. I sent her research studies on the subject. She still doesn't believe me.....

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Jessica Alba Started Early

 

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So Wine Ostrich over here wrote an essay for a new book just filled with essays by female celebrities. That must be a superlative read. Seriously, cause I want to know about their struggles being rich and gorgeous. In hers, Jessica Alba claims her sixth grade teacher and some of the PTA moms thought she was a "slut" because she had big boobs. My sympathy for her ass is nil because she radiates stank, but that was a judgmental school she went to. Was this the bible belt? Was Carrie's Mom the principal? "First the blood, then the boys come a'running like sniffin' dogs!" Aiiieeeeehhhh! "The accusation still ricochets . . . They think I'm a slut?," the burdened by gorgeousness Alba says in "If I'd Known Then" by Ellyn Spragins. Oh you're fine now. You have a money, and a baby on the way. Maybe you shouldn't have been giving oral behind the jungle gym, huh?

 

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http://socialitelife.buzznet.com/

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Strangle Her While You Have The Chance

 

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Here's Jessica Alba and Princess RiRi at the Fendi store opening in Paris a few nights ago. Jessica is knocked up with her "brown baby", but that's not stopping her from enjoying the shows in Paris. Selfish bitch! I hope she gets mega fat, but only in her face. That way all the fat will stay in her head and hopefully her mouth will become too heavy to open.

 

Princess RiRi looks like she had her make-up done by a doll maker. Put an alien curse on your make-up artist, RiRi! He fucked you up.

 

Also, here's Jessica at the Lanvin show in Paris today. It doesn't look like Cash came with her to Paris. I hope she put a bike lock on his dick, because you know how that bitch is.

 

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http://www.dlisted.com/

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Jessica Alba Isn't Enjoying France

 

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God, she's in one of the most beautiful cities in the world and probably still complaining. Here's Jessica Alba giving the gas face in Paris. She's there for the fashion shows. Seriously, who walks around Paris with that puss on their face? You're rich, about to have a baby and probably have even more money on the way when you sell the pics of said baby. It's not that bad. Go get a baguette with some brie on it and lighten the hell up, diva!

 

http://socialitelife.buzznet.com/

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I think reading Alba's blog post just killed a third of my brain cells.

 

so she's pimping a website now? way to go. :rolleyes:

Edited by fykeylicious

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Jessica Alba’s weighty worries

MSNBC

 

At six months pregnant, Jessica Alba has a growing concern. Life & Style reports the actress is terrified of the usual baby-on-board weight gain, and as a result, she’s become obsessed with exercise.

 

“It’s like she’s training for a marathon,” said a source who spied Jessica working out at the gym. “It doesn’t look normal, a pregnant woman exerting herself that much. Trainers tell pregnant women not to overdo it, but she’s not listening.

 

An insider told Life & Style the reason behind Jessica’s over-the-top exercise routines is a no-brainer. “It’s no wonder she’s freaking out — her body is what helps make her a star.”

 

With Hollywood’s baby bump boom, there’s also the stress to look good alongside other celebrity moms-to-be. “Everyday, as she gets bigger, she exercises more,” a friend of Jessica’s told the magazine. “She feels pressure to look good pregnant.”

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MK, Rihanna and Jessica Enjoy Kanye's FIRST Passion in Paris

 

 

Paris Fashion Week went out with a bang with this weekend's star studded front rows galore. Jessica Alba covered up her baby bump standing next to a much taller Rihanna to check out Fendi. You guys seemed pretty evenly split as to whether Amy Winehouse deserved the $1 million paycheck to perform for the runway show, but at least she showed up. Mary-Kate Olsen was out without her twinsie but still showed off that, um, quirky fashion sense in an aggressive studded leather jacket. Kanye and his fiancée Alexis were just there to have a good time and made sure to get right to his blog to talk about how fashion will always be his first love. So much for that rap thing.

 

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Jessica Alba Loves Her Ham & Cheese

Tue, 04 March 2008

 

Jessica Alba attends the premiere of her latest thriller, The Eye, at the Gaumant Marignan cinema in Paris, France on Tuesday.

 

Prior to the premiere, Jessica blogged this little tidbit about herself: “I am currently getting my makeup done to go to the premiere of my movie. Can’t wait to get home and rest. Every day I have eaten ham and cheese sandwiches, I cant get enough of them. Wish they had these back in the states, the bread is amazing. My tummy is getting bigger by the second and the little one must like the food too because it is moving and kicking like crazy. IT’S THE BEST.”

 

The Fantastic actress also talked about her time at Paris Fashion Week and a recent concert she went to: Went to the Lanvin show and the Rodin museum in Paris…amazing. Also saw Amy Winehouse perform. She has such an incredible voice. She’s definitely a throwback…reminiscent of Ella [Fitzgerald].”

 

Jess, 26, and fiance Cashers, 28, are expecting their little one late May/early June.

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Amy Winehouse reminiscent of ELLA FITZGERALD? :blink:

 

This Alba bitch is not only evil, she's criminally stupid.

Yea, Good ONE, Jessica. I was just reminiscing about the time that Ella put a cigarette out on her cheek and had a heroin blackout. What a friggin' jackass. How much of a brat is her kid going to be? Bought and paid for Father, check, completely self-absorbed brainless Mother, check. OH MY GOD, she's having Paris Hilton.

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Amy Winehouse reminiscent of ELLA FITZGERALD? :blink:

 

This Alba bitch is not only evil, she's criminally stupid.

Yea, Good ONE, Jessica. I was just reminiscing about the time that Ella put a cigarette out on her cheek and had a heroin blackout. What a friggin' jackass. How much of a brat is her kid going to be? Bought and paid for Father, check, completely self-absorbed brainless Mother, check. OH MY GOD, she's having Paris Hilton.

 

No, Paris Hilton is like, too white. Remember, Jessica is like, PROUD of her Latina heritage, and she's like, "excited for my baby to be brown. I just have to believe the dark gene is going to survive. Cash and I are like, please." (And I'm like, barf.)

Edited by Serendipity

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Amy Winehouse reminiscent of ELLA FITZGERALD? :blink:

 

This Alba bitch is not only evil, she's criminally stupid.

Yea, Good ONE, Jessica. I was just reminiscing about the time that Ella put a cigarette out on her cheek and had a heroin blackout. What a friggin' jackass. How much of a brat is her kid going to be? Bought and paid for Father, check, completely self-absorbed brainless Mother, check. OH MY GOD, she's having Paris Hilton.

 

:D

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Somebody Give This Woman A Ham Sandwich

 

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Jessica Alba is currently in Paris promoting that piece of shit movie "The Eye." Jessica took to her MySpace blog to write about her new obsession with ham and cheese sandwiches from Paris.

 

She wrote:

"Every day I have eaten ham and cheese sandwiches, I can't get enough of them. Wish they had these back in the states, the bread is amazing. My tummy is getting bigger by the second and the little one must like the food too because it is moving and kicking like crazy. ITS THE BEST."

We don't have ham and cheese sandwiches here? She's probably talking about a special kind. Bitch go to Au Bon Pain! She probably won't know the different.

 

She totally doesn't think her "brown baby" kicking is the best. Lies. She probably gets pissed off and hits him back. Then somebody gives her a ham and cheese sandwich and she's all good again. Keep them ham sammies coming. It will shut her mouth up and make her fatter. For some reason I want Alba to get enormous! Goodyear blimp size.

 

Here's Alba at the premiere of her movie in Paris tonight. She looks mad. She's thinking of ham sandwiches!

 

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http://www.dlisted.com/

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Jessica Alba Might Be Expecting Twins

 

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I cannot tell a lie. As much as she generally bugs the crap out of me, I think Jessica Alba looks glowing and beautiful with her pregnant self here at the Paris, France premiere of her movie, "The Eye." She wasn't kidding when she said her breasts were all engorged and stuff.

 

And now, with her belly swelling to unprecedented levels, speculation is running rampant that Jessica is pregnant with twins. The National Enquirer is reporting that they've been tipped off by an inside source that Alba is now expecting two bundles of joy. "Knowing that she's going to have twins has literally turned Jessica's life upside down."

 

I enjoy when people improperly use the term "literally." Unless the source then said, "Because after hearing the news, Jessica was then LITERALLY dancing on the ceiling singing, 'Oh, what a feeling...'" in which case they were dead-on and I would be forced to shut up.

 

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http://socialitelife.buzznet.com/

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