Chris Rock

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Chris Rock Loses His (Expletive Deleted) on CNN

 

 

A transcript cannot really capture what we’re told was the true stoneditude of the live event, but, still, it’s worth nothing at least this snippet of Chris Rock’s appearance on Anderson Cooper 360° last night, touting the relief efforts he and has wife are spearheading for Katrina victims in Houston:

 

COOPER: It’s obviously — you know, I talk to a lot of people who watch this on television, and they all want to help, they want to be there. How is it different actually being there and meeting people than it is just kind of watching it on television?

 

ROCK: You know, when you are here, you meet the people, and, you know, you form a relationship. And, you know, they are real to you. It’s not — and you want to help, you want to — you know, you want to be hands on. You don’t want to just send a check. And you want to see that, you know, the money you are giving is, you know — you know, going to good.

 

COOPER: And what — what can you show us? I know you’re — I can’t see where you are, because we’re a little — because I’m over here in Mississippi. What can you show us where you are?

 

ROCK: What can I show you? OK.

 

I think this is like — what is this called? I mean, I don’t want to sound like a rich guy. I know it’s an apartment. But it’s called a two bedroom efficiency. A family lives in here.

 

I sound like (EXPLETIVE DELETED). Sorry.

 

Yes, you do.

 

But, you know, it’s hard, you know, to be on television. Especially, you know, when you don’t, you know, have any experience with it, you know.

 

(Screengrabs, anyone?)

 

Anderson Cooper 360° Transcript [CNN]

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Chris Rock gives 3-year-old daughter Lola a case of the giggles Sunday at the Circle of Passion celebrity fashion show in Los Angeles. The event benefited the Elevate Hope Foundation, a charity for abused and abandoned children.

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CRACKER CASE

Page Six

 

October 18, 2006 -- THE Rev. Al Sharpton has a new cause. His camp plans to fund a lawsuit on behalf of comic Chris Rock's mother, Rose Rock, against the Southern food chain Cracker Barrel. Mama Rock claims she and her daughter were denied service at the country-style eatery near Myrtle Beach, S.C. Though a spokesperson for Cracker Barrel tells us, "We do not tolerate any form of discrimination," maybe they should have responded to Sharpton sooner. The suit will be announced today during a demonstration outside the eatery.

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Chris Rock Files For Divorce

 

 

Chris Rock and wife Malaak Compton-Rock are headed for divorce. A source says the Dogma star recently obtained a high-powered attorney to begin proceedings against his wife of 10 years.

 

Rock is in post production for his new movie I Think I Love My Wife while Compton-Rock runs a non-profit, full-service salon called StyleWorks aimed at providing free services to women leaving welfare and entering the workforce.

 

The stand-up comedian's rep refused to comment about the couple who have two daughters, Lola 4, and Zhara, 2.

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Chris Rock Files For Divorce

 

 

Chris Rock and wife Malaak Compton-Rock are headed for divorce. A source says the Dogma star recently obtained a high-powered attorney to begin proceedings against his wife of 10 years.

 

Rock is in post production for his new movie I Think I Love My Wife while Compton-Rock runs a non-profit, full-service salon called StyleWorks aimed at providing free services to women leaving welfare and entering the workforce.

 

The stand-up comedian's rep refused to comment about the couple who have two daughters, Lola 4, and Zhara, 2.

I wonder what went wrong!! I heard that he cheats on her and fathered a child with a white woman (weird- cause his joke are most racial in nature! Hhmm)

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Chris Rock gives 3-year-old daughter Lola a case of the giggles Sunday at the Circle of Passion celebrity fashion show in Los Angeles. The event benefited the Elevate Hope Foundation, a charity for abused and abandoned children.

 

this picture looks so nice and sweet..

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CHOW HOUND

 

A satisfied customer? The verdict is still out for a solo Chris Rock after he dines in Los Angeles on Monday.

 

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panachereport.com

 

 

Chris Rock jokes about Oprah Winfrey's new school, "This is probably the biggest non-prison ever built for black people.

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'Everybody' loves to use the n-word

By Hanh Nguyen

 

Disclaimer: The following contains offensive language, not all of which has been artfully camouflaged by the use of dashes. You have been warned.

 

In the spirit of the revival of Isaiah Washington's infamous gay slur, comes the resurrection of Michael Richards' notorious use of the n-word.

 

The press tour panel on Friday for the CW's Everybody Hates Chris started innocently enough. Executive producers/co-creators Chris Rock, Ali LeRoi and the cast were psyched that the network had announced an early pickup for a full season of the family sitcom. This doesn't mean they intend to rest on their laurels though.

 

"I don't relax. We're already on the CW. What's next, BET?" quips Rock, adding that moving the show from Sunday to Monday was a blessing in disguise. "That was rough. My TiVo wouldn't even watch the show on Sunday. Every week: 60 Minutes ... damn. I'm setting it to Everybody Hates Chris."

 

Although the show is critically acclaimed and obviously supported by its network, Rock could think of one way to raise the public's awareness of EHC.

 

"In about a week, I'm going to have Terry [Crews] run through a club screaming, 'n----r' and try to raise some buzz," says Rock, referring to Richards' racist tirade in which he used the n-word several times after being heckled.

 

Rock is obviously comfortable using blue language in his comedy, and when asked his stance regarding leaders of the African-American community seeking to ban the use of the n-word, he replies, "I don't know. I just told my broker to buy me 80 shares of COON."

 

Several seats away, Crews says in mock disbelief, "Honey, you wouldn't believe me. He said 'n----r' and 'c--n': It was great."

 

The cast and crew also joked about inviting Richards to guest star in order to boost ratings.

 

"He's busy working on Apocalypto 2," says Rock dismissively.

 

So, that's a 'no' to hiring Richards?

 

"Would I offer a job to Michael Richards? Wow. I don't know," says Rock. "Probably. I mean, I'd have to make sure the other non-'n----r'-screaming people didn't need jobs first. Once they were all working, I guess I'd have to give him a job."

 

Would you support Michael Richards making an appearance on the show in the spirit of atonement?

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NY DAILY NEWS

 

Chris and wife acting like

marriage is Rock solid

 

Chris Rock and his wife, Malaak, looked like the happiest of couples yesterday on "Oprah," where they promoted his new comedy, "I Think I Love My Wife." But some claim the movie - in which he stars as a husband tempted by foxy Kerry Washington - is closer to real life than Chris would like to admit.

 

 

Speculation about Rock's 10-year marriage has heated up since Washington called off her engagement to actor David Moscow.

 

 

Washington tells us Rock had nothing to do with that split, and Chris' rep maintains, "Everything is fine at home for the Rocks."

 

 

But the Rocks have known their struggles. In November, TMZ.com reported that Chris hired a "high-powered" attorney to begin "divorce proceedings," and a friend of Chris' confirmed the couple were talking to lawyers. Word was they were trying to work out a post-nuptial agreement.

 

 

Now the producers of "I Think I Love My Wife" are said to have urged Chris to postpone any decisions until after the movie's March 17 release. "They read him the riot act," says a source.

 

 

Malaak's friends say she complains that Chris doesn't offer enough support in her charitable work. Others say Malaak worries about his time away from home. About five years ago, L.A.-based model Monika Zsibrita pressed a paternity claim against Chris. (Three DNA tests established he wasn't the father of Zsibrita's child.) Rock's rep says that his relationship with Zsibrita took place while he and Malaak were separated. Last year, Rock joked onstage, "I don't cheat. Not because I'm a great husband, just because I'm tired of getting caught."

 

 

Whatever their past troubles, Malaak says Chris has turned into a great father to their two daughters, 4-year-old Lola and 2-year-old Zahra. As Rock told Oprah: "Taking care of my kids is what I really want to do."

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All Reuters News

 

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New York City bans racial slur

 

New York City symbolically banned use of the word nigger on Wednesday, the latest step in a campaign that hopes to expunge the most vile of racial slurs from hip hop music and television.

 

The City Council unanimously declared a moratorium that carries no penalty but aims to stop youth from casually using the word, considered by most Americans to be the most offensive in the English language.

 

The New York City measure follows similar resolutions this month by the New York state assembly and state senate, and supporters of the ban are taking their campaign to The Recording Academy, asking it not to nominate musicians for Grammy awards if they use the word in their lyrics.

 

Many rap artists and young New Yorkers toss the word around as a term of endearment or as a substitute for black, angering some black leaders who consider those who use it as ignorant of the word's hate-filled history in slavery and segregation.

 

"This could be the beginning of a movement," councilman Albert Vann said.

 

Councilman Leroy Comrie, a sponsor of the moratorium, said the campaign against the word has gained strength since comedian Michael Richards spewed it in a racially charged tirade in Los Angeles.

 

The Laugh Factory club where Richards performed has since banned comedians from using the word there and the former "Seinfeld" television star has apologized.

 

"The Michael Richards incident really brought it to another level. It has forced people to express their outrage. Many people had been seething quietly," Comrie said.

 

Comrie also asked TV network Black Entertainment Television to stop using the word in its shows. Representatives of BET did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

 

A Grammy spokesman said he doubted the academy's 11,000 voting members would support any measure that might censor artists.

 

"They are not going to be supportive of something that excludes someone simply because they are using a word that is offensive," said Ron Roecker, vice president of communication for the Recording Academy.

 

The city resolution calling for the moratorium traces the etymology of the word from the Latin "niger," meaning black, to its first documented written use in 1786 as a term slave masters used to label their African slaves.

 

Use of the word by blacks exploded with the rise of rap music in recent years, and some black comedians like Chris Rock continue to use it in their routines.

 

"What, is there a fine? Am I going to get a ticket?" Rock mocked in a Reuters interview when asked about the City Council move. "Do judges say, '10 years, nigger!"'

 

Rock said politicians were trying to divert attention from real problems: "Enough real bad things happen in this city to worry about how I am going to use the word."

 

(Additional reporting by Christine Kearney)

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people.com:

 

EXCLUSIVE: Chris Rock, Wife Say Their Marriage Is Solid

THURSDAY MARCH 01, 2007 03:20 PM EST

 

 

Chris and Malaak Rock

 

Despite a recent story in the New York Daily News that their marriage was in trouble, Chris Rock and wife Malaak are fine, they tell PEOPLE in an exclusive statement.

 

"Though we have tried in the past to take the high road and not comment on the tabloid media, we find it necessary to express on record how unfortunate it is that the Daily News, specifically, and other tabloid outlets have chosen to print untrue rumors and lies about our family and marriage," the comic, 42, and his wife, 37, said in a statement.

 

"It is extremely hurtful to us, our children, and our extended family. We remain, as always, very happy and committed to our marriage and the beautiful family that we have built."

 

In November, TMZ.com reported that Rock had begun divorce proceedings. And on Thursday, the Daily News claimed that some sources were saying Rock's upcoming movie, I Think I Love My Wife, hit close to home: In it, Rock plays a married man tempted by a beautiful woman (Ray star Kerry Washington).

 

Rock's rep told the paper, "Everything is fine at home for the Rocks."

 

Rock and the former Malaak Compton wed on Nov. 23, 1996. They have two daughters: Lola Simone, 4, and Zahra Savannah, 2. The family appeared on Wednesday's episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show, and Rock told Winfrey: "Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world."

 

The couple met in 1994 when Rock and two friends crashed a New York City awards show. "She's changed me," Rock told Ebony in 1997. "She's really calmed me down and centered my life."

 

Malaak Rock is founder and executive director of styleWORKS, a non-profit organization that provides grooming services and image consulting for women moving from welfare to work. She was previously manager of special events and celebrity relations for UNICEF.

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Time for another Fan Chit-Chat Celebrity translation!

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panachereport.com

 

Chris Rock has slammed reports his marriage to wife Malaak is in trouble due to his friendship with his latest co-star Kerry Washington. Rock and Washington are currently promoting their new film “I Think I Love My Wife,” in which the 30-year-old actress’ character tries to seduce Rock's married character.

Washington announced this week she had ended her engagement to David Moscow, claiming she was too young to settle down.

After speculation her relationship with Rock lead to her split, Rock's representative denied the comedian had anything to do with Washington's new single status.

The rep tells the New York Daily News, "Everything is fine at home for the Rocks."

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Groupie Deficit

 

CHRIS Rock has a gorgeous wife - but that doesn't mean he wouldn't mind a few groupies. In an interview in Jane magazine, he said, "No one wants to sleep with me. Girls are like, 'I want you to read this book.' It's never, 'We should go to a hotel.' " Unlike some of his fellow Hollywood stars, Rock said, "I don't bring it out of them like that. I'm not Matthew McConaughey. They want me to keep my shirt on."

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panachereport.com

 

Chris Rock wishes he had the sex appeal of Matthew McConaughey, because his female fans never try to seduce him. The “Lethal Weapon 4,” star is happily married to wife Malaak, but would still like the confidence boost of female adoration.

He tells American magazine Jane, "No one wants to sleep with me. Girls are like, 'I want you to read this book.' It's never, 'We should go to a hotel.' "I'm not Matthew McConaughey. They want me to keep my shirt on."

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NY DAILY NEWS

 

Comedy, exposed

 

"My humor works best with people who have bad sex and pay their taxes," Chris Rock said during a taping of the AMC entertainment show "Sunday Morning Shootout."

 

"When you're a comedian, it's like being a porn star. People have seen you do this thing so naked. Anytime you're not funny, it's like, 'What are you doing?' "

 

The modest Rock told host Peter Guber he's under no illusions about his popularity: "There's never anything that comes in the mail that says, 'You're not going to work again.' But it happens."

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Patty Jackson's 4-1-1

 

Chris Rock says everything is alright in his household, and he loves his wife very much. Chris has a new movie, I Think I Love My Wife coming out on March 16th.

As he makes the press rounds, he is being asked about his wife.

For the past ten years, Rock has been married to Malaak Compton. She is the mother of his two young daughters.

The marriage has seen its shares of ups and downs with cheating, paternity tests and models.

Late last year, Chris filed for divorce and mysteriously withdrew the petition. Did Chris change his mind because a divorce could hurt his new movie? Rock responds: Heck no! Rock says marriage can be challenging, but he loves his wife.

He says he no longer cheats because he is tried of getting caught.

Rock says he and Malaak and their young family are very happy. He says he has no plans to break up his family.

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Chris Rock forgot to make his new comedy funny

 

In "I Think I Love My Wife," Chris Rock does something entirely unexpected. He isn't funny.

 

No doubt Rock -- who directed, co-wrote, co-produced and stars in the comedy -- is trying to stretch. He is not thoroughly convincing as a buppie, married with children, but you would feel much better about the role if his mischievous sense of humor had come along. When Edward Herrmann has the most amusing line, something is seriously wrong.

 

Playing a henpecked, straightforward investment banker unable to make any move whatsoever with a gorgeous and willing dream girl is not what Chris Rock's fan base will expect. Again, if he were funny, that might not matter. Because he is not, box office for this Fox Searchlight release might suffer.

 

Rock insists that his film is based on the last film of Eric Rohmer's Six Moral Tales, "Chloe in the Afternoon," a French New Wave film made 35 years ago. Actually all he borrows is the premise: A happily married, bourgeois businessman daydreams about other women but has no intention of following through on any of these afternoon delights. Then an old friend, a former girlfriend of a buddy from the past, drops by his office with seduction on her mind.

 

There are a couple of odds things even about how the premise develops in this movie, however. For one, if Rock's Richard Cooper is as happily married as he says he is, why does wife Brenda (Gina Torres) refuse to have sex with him, and why is the couple in therapy? Also, what kind of "old friend" is Kerry Washington's Nikki? When Richard was sowing his wild oats as a young man in his 20s, Nikki would have been in junior high.

 

But never mind the details; let's go looking for laughs.

 

After re-entering his life, Nikki appears at Richard's office at all hours in outfits more appropriate for nightclubbing. Before you know it, he goes AWOL on clients and associates as Nikki leads him around town by his, um, nose. But they remain just friends. So far, all situation no comedy.

 

One night, Nikki persuades Richard to slip away from home for a rendezvous at a nightclub. She never turns up, and he gets stoned with a couple of salesgirls. No yucks here.

 

Another time, Nikki forces Richard to accompany her on a shuttle flight to D.C. to sneak her things out of the apartment of a soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend. The boyfriend arrives home unexpectedly, smacks Richard around, the police arrive, and shots are fired. No laughs here. Worse, there are no repercussions: Richard and Nikki slip out the door without the police noticing they fled the scene.

 

The sole dramatic tension in the story stems from the will-they-or-won't-they question that hovers over the Richard-Nikki relationship. Few are going to care as character motivation is seriously lacking in a script Rock wrote with Louis C.K.

 

Why don't the married couple have sex? Brenda seems to love her man, and she certainly fights to keep him. Why after all these years does Nikki turn up? She seems to have nothing more on her mind than playing him for all he's worth. For that matter, why does Richard seem terrified of all women, even his secretary?

 

The script could have developed genuine inner conflict in its hero -- a family man devoted to his young children but with a frigid wife and possibly a hot mistress -- but never does. All of which leaves the three main actors playing very tentative characters. There is clarity with two of Rock's office comrades: Steve Buscemi as a womanizing married man and Herrmann as a stuffy boss. But these fine character actors are wasted on such lightweight roles.

 

As a director, Rock has little visual flair, so the film looks clumsy and stilted. Solid location work in and around New York does give designer Sharon Lomofsky something to work with while Suzanne McCabe has fun with all the revealing and stylish costumes for Washington.

 

Cast:

 

Richard: Chris Rock

 

Nikki: Kerry Washington

 

Brenda: Gina Torres

 

George: Steve Buscemi

 

Mr. Landis: Edward Herrmann

 

Mary: Welker White

 

Director: Chris Rock; Screenwriters: Chris Rock, Louis C.K.; Based on a film by: Eric Rohmer; Producers: Chris Rock, Lisa Stewart; Executive producers: Adam Brightman, Ronnie Screwvala; Director of photography: William Rexer II; Production designer: Sharon Lomofsky; Music: Marcus Miller; Co-producer: Zarina Screwvala; Costume designer: Suzanne McCabe; Editor: Wendy Greene Bricmont.

 

Reuters/Hollywood Reporter

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Chris Rock: Partnership Is the Best Part of Marriage

By Nicholas White

 

 

A week after Chris Rock and wife Malaak Compton-Rock declared publicly that their 10-year marriage is strong, the couple and proud parents appeared together at the premiere of Rock's new movie, I Think I Love My Wife, Wednesday.

 

The couple, who have two young daughters, Lola, 4, and Zahra, 2, smiled, embraced and held hands on the red carpet at the Hollywood premiere of the new comedy.

 

The movie's release coincides with rumors of trouble in their marriage, which the couple have vehemently denied. In a statement to PEOPLE last week, they said: "We remain, as always, very happy and committed to our marriage and the beautiful family that we have built."

 

Still, because marriage is the new movie's theme, the normally private Rock has been discussing the subject of late. "I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard," the comedian said Tuesday at the movie's press day. "You spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things."

 

Asked about the best and worst parts of marriage, Rock said, "The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian – comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense."

 

Rock's costar, Gina Torres, who plays his wife in I Think I Love My Wife, said of Rock at Wednesday's premiere, "He's a doting parent and a very loving and affectionate man."

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NY DAILY NEWS

 

Chris Rock would like to thank Steve Buscemi for his work in Rock's "I Think I Love My Wife." "Normally when you see a movie with predominantly black actors, you generally see C-level white actors," he said at the flick's L.A. premiere Wednesday.

"We're lucky to have gotten Steve Buscemi — he blessed his black brothers." But it was co-star Kerry Washington who wowed Rock. "She should have gotten an Oscar nomination [for 'Last King of Scotland']," said Rock. "Don't worry though; we're going to do the remake of 'Annie Hall.'" Rock's wife Malaak, who was by his side, kept smiling.

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CHRIS ROCK UNLEASHED: USA 'READY FOR A RETARDED PRESIDENT, WHY WOULDN’T IT BE READY FOR AN AFRICAN AMERICAN PRESIDENT?'

Wed Mar 14 2007 16:30:58 ET

 

When LIFE asked comic Chris Rock if America is ready for an African American president, Rock tells LIFE: “It’s ready for a retarded president, why wouldn’t it be ready for an African American president?”

 

Of the current presidential contenders, Rock says, “I like Al Gore, actually. (A) He’s more qualified than everyone that’s running on the Democratic side. ( If he won or didn’t win, he has an agenda to help people and make this a better world...” Rock tells LIFE: “Maybe Barack will win, but I probably won’t see a black president. There’s real equality when you don’t notice [race], you don’t even talk about it. I probably won’t live to see that.”

 

The 42-year-old Brooklyn-raised comic’s latest project, I Think I Love My Wife, which he cowrote, directed, and stars in, examines a marriage that’s in a slump. Rock talks to LIFE about rumors concerning his own 10-year marriage to Malaak Compton-Rock, fatherhood and happiness in the current issue of LIFE, in newspapers Friday.

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Now Playing: I Think I Love Chris Rock.

 

CHRIS ROCK UNLEASHED: USA 'READY FOR A RETARDED PRESIDENT, WHY WOULDN’T IT BE READY FOR AN AFRICAN AMERICAN PRESIDENT?'

Wed Mar 14 2007 16:30:58 ET

 

When LIFE asked comic Chris Rock if America is ready for an African American president, Rock tells LIFE: “It’s ready for a retarded president, why wouldn’t it be ready for an African American president?”

 

Of the current presidential contenders, Rock says, “I like Al Gore, actually. (A) He’s more qualified than everyone that’s running on the Democratic side. ( If he won or didn’t win, he has an agenda to help people and make this a better world...” Rock tells LIFE: “Maybe Barack will win, but I probably won’t see a black president. There’s real equality when you don’t notice [race], you don’t even talk about it. I probably won’t live to see that.”

 

The 42-year-old Brooklyn-raised comic’s latest project, I Think I Love My Wife, which he cowrote, directed, and stars in, examines a marriage that’s in a slump. Rock talks to LIFE about rumors concerning his own 10-year marriage to Malaak Compton-Rock, fatherhood and happiness in the current issue of LIFE, in newspapers Friday.

[BobbyD 2]

Rock On The Radio

 

COMEDIAN Chris Rock dished to Sirius Satellite Radio about his two biggest addictions: drugs and therapy. When asked if he's ever been to therapy, Rock responded, "I have to go to therapy all the time. I need therapy. Or drugs. You quit for a while and then you know, it's like, 'I'm getting a little crazy again. Maybe I should go back.' "

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Review: 'Love My Wife,' don't love the movie

By Tom Charity

Special to CNN

 

(CNN) -- I blame the Academy Awards.

 

Before his Oscar hosting gig last year, Chris Rock seemed perfectly happy tagging along with Adam Sandler, playing zebras and doing "Pootie Tang."

 

Now here he is, translating a 35-year-old French art film to American shores, writing and directing, worrying about fidelity, acting all mature.

 

Somebody should start dishing out gongs before all our comedians go serious on us.

 

Okay, I exaggerate just a little bit.

 

"I Think I Love My Wife" is a comedy -- in theory, anyway. But its peculiarities outweigh the ha-has.

 

It's not exactly news that Hollywood has taken to remaking popular foreign language films from all over the place. Recently we have seen a glut of American versions of "J-horror," Japanese horror movies that were scarier (and probably made more sense) in their original incarnations. Before that the mainstay was broad French comedy, the inspiration for "The Birdcage," "Three Men and a Baby," "True Lies" and a multitude of less successful variations.

 

Even so, it's quite a stretch to go from Steve Guttenberg changing diapers to Chris Rock contemplating adultery in a remake of Eric Rohmer's "Chloe in the Afternoon."

 

Mr. Rohmer turns 87 next month and is currently directing his 24th feature, but he has never been what you might call a popular filmmaker, even in France. His movies are subtle, philosophical disquisitions exploring potential amorous relationships that hardly ever happen. ("I saw a Rohmer film once," Gene Hackman's character remarks in "Night Moves." "It was like watching paint dry.")

 

True to form, 1972's "Chloe in the Afternoon" is the story of a businessman who bumps into an old acquaintance, the free-spirited Chloe, and begins seeing more of her than his wife would like, but who hesitates to take the next step. In Rohmer's film, adultery isn't just an impulsive act, it's a moral choice.

 

It's appropriate, I guess, that Rock's version (co-written with long-time collaborator Louis C.K.) should be reasonably faithful to the outline of the French film even as it plays fast and loose with everything else: style, tone, sensibility, you name it.

 

He's a New York investment banker, Richard Cooper, seven years married to the beautiful, intelligent Brenda (Gina Torres). The marriage works but they don't "do it" anymore -- he's bored and she's tired.

 

So when the palpably sexy Nikki (Kerry Washington) comes back into his life, Richard is a soft touch. She starts hanging around the office, meeting him for lunch dates, reminding him what a good time looks like.

 

Washington -- wearing as little as possible -- certainly qualifies in that department. But Nikki doesn't come off as a free spirit. Instead, she's pure vamp: a chain-smoking, man-eating homewrecker. Her idea of fun is throwing dollar bills out the window to watch bums grab for them. Cute! She might as well have "Trouble" tattooed on her forehead. (Richard's so obtuse, he'd probably overlook it if she did.)

 

As for Gina Torres as Brenda, she barely gets a chance and never justifies her deep-freeze act. The marriage looks like the sham Nikki claims it is.

 

So what about Rock? The comedian, who's capable of much more, seems determined to tamp down his anarchic edge in the service of a weak and timid role. It's only when he breaks character -- in the staged fight over chicken for dinner you've seen in the trailer, or in a Viagra-induced nightmare -- that the movie generates any comic energy. Even Rock's trademark obsession with race feels awkwardly peripheral to the proceedings.

 

Rock doesn't bring much to the table as director either. The style is choppy and crass. Key plot developments skate over glaring inconsistencies (Richard has his secretary block Nikki's calls, but has she also lost the office address?). An abrupt last-minute segue into ironic post-modernism smacks of bad faith and self-indulgence.

 

There are the remnants of a classy comedy here. Steve Buscemi belongs in a better picture as Richard's blithe business partner, and at least Rock has the nerve to pin the moment of truth on a visual revelation.

 

But "I Think I Love My Wife" is a mess. Cynical and coarse, it might just be the least romantic comedy of the year. If only it had more laughs.