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Remakes you don't want to happen

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I see that Nicole Kidman is filming a movie called Lady from Shanghai.

the original with Orson Wells and Rita Hayworth is a bit weird, but there's no way that they can remake that film and have it come off today....

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Naomi Watts Perched on 'Birds' Remake

Martin Campbell is negotiating to fill Hitchcock's shoes

October 19, 2007

 

 

Naomi Watts, who starred in the hit remake of "King Kong," is about to go ape over Universal's fresh take on "The Birds."

 

The long-gestating pic has been set up through Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes shingle for some time and Watts involvement is also familiar news, but "The Birds" is beginning to take form, with Martin Campbell in negotiations to direct.

 

The new "Birds" will return to the Daphne du Maurier short story that spawned Alfred Hitchcock's 1963 classic. That film starred Tippie Hedren as a spoiled socialite who runs afoul (or should that be "a-fowl") of some particularly vicious birds in the coastal town of Bodega Bay.

 

Stiles White and Juliet Snowden wrote the most recent draft of the script.

 

While nearly every other film in Hollywood is attempting to rush into production before a possible strike, Variety says that "The Birds" remake is in no such hurry.

 

Watts, next appearing in "Funny Games," is shooting "The International" with Clive Owen and has also committed to an adaptation of adaptation of Amy Sutherland's "Kicked, Bitten and Scratched: Life and Lessons at the World's Premiere School for Exotic Animal Trainers," set up at First Look.

 

For his part, Campbell is attached to 20th Century Fox's "Unstoppable" and Paramount's "36." His most recent credit was the hit James Bond reboot "Casino Royale."

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I see that Nicole Kidman is filming a movie called Lady from Shanghai.

the original with Orson Wells and Rita Hayworth is a bit weird, but there's no way that they can remake that film and have it come off today....

First, The Women, now Lady From Shanghai?!! Did Hollywood just collectively run out of new ideas?

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Grease Is Not The Word

http://www.dlisted.com/

 

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This has got to be a joke. Michelle Pfeiffer is quoted as saying that she's been offered a role in a remake of "Grease" and that Jessica Simpson has been asked to play Sandy. Did hell freeze over and I didn't get the memo?

 

She said, "It's a great idea and I hear they would like to get Jessica Simpson for the role of Sandy, she would be good. I would love to play the school principal. She is fun and has some great put-down lines. I think I would like the part now that I have been asked."

 

Jessica Simpson?! Bitch is too old! Michelle Pfeiffer NOW would make a better Sandy.

 

Michelle also starred in Grease 2 and says she regrets making it. "I hated that film with a vengeance and could not believe how bad it was. At the time I was young and didn't know any better."

 

Grease 2 is the greatest movie she ever made and she shouldn't have any regrets. Grease 2 is a masterpiece! " I want a cool rider, a cool cool cool cool rider. I want a cool rider, a cool cool cool cool rider. I want a c-oo-l r-i-d-e-r."

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Butler escapes 'New York' remake

Actor exits film due to creative differences :lol:

By MICHAEL FLEMING

 

Before they shot a frame of film, Gerard Butler escaped "Escape From New York," the remake of the John Carpenter film.

 

Right after his turn as the Spartan in "300," Butler made a deal to play Snake Plissken in a film bought at auction by New Line. He left for creative differences. New Line is persevering: studio has brought Jonathan Mostow in to rewrite, with an option to direct.

 

Butler just began production on Lakeshore's "Game," which Lionsgate will distribute. He'll next be seen starring in the Richard LaGravanese-directed "P.S., I Love You," the Guy Ritchie-directed "Rock N Rolla," and Fox-Walden's "Nim's Island."

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Jennifer Connelly Joins 'Earth' Remake

Keanu Reeves will star in 'The Day the Earth Stood Still'

November 6, 2007

 

Oscar winner Jennifer Connelly will take the female lead in the 20th Century Fox remake of "The Day the Earth Stood Still."

 

Fellow Oscar winner Kathy Bates is also set to join former Oscar presenter Keanu Reeves in the update of the 1951 Robert Wise classic.

 

Reeves is taking on the Michael Rennie role as Klaatu, a humanoid alien who arrives on Earth with his indestructible robot Gort. Klaatu's mission is to warn the Earth's leaders that an alien race will annihilate them if they don't make up and play nice.

 

Connelly will take on the role played by Patricia Neal in the original.

 

Scott Derrickson ("The Exorcism of Emily Rose") is directing the remake with production beginning in December. The film will hit theaters in December 2008.

 

Connelly is currently working on the ensemble comedy "He's Just Not That Into You." She can currently be seen in "Reservation Road," if you live in one of the cities the film is showing, while her 2006 credits include "Blood Diamond" and "Little Children."

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This is Unnecessary

 

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"Prom Night" is one of my favorite horror movies from the 80s and of course Hollyweird has to go and eff it up. Here's the poster for the upcoming remake which stars Brittany Snow, Johnathon Schaech and some nobodies. The original starred Jamie Lee Curtis and Leslie Nielsen.

 

It's basically about these two hot chicks and these two dudes that were involved with the death of a young girl. Years later a crazed killer comes to seek revenge on the teens during their prom night.

 

Why can't Hollywood come up with new shit? They always have to ruin the classics. Not only are they effing with "Prom Night," but they are also remaking "April Fool's Day" for 2008. Not right.

 

http://www.dlisted.com/

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A Dagger In My Heart

 

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It's no secret that NBC is planning to ruin one of my favorite TV shows of all-time, Kath & Kim. It was announced a while ago that Molly Shannon was going to play Kath, but I hoped that maybe things would fall through and it would never happen. I would wake up and it would be a distant memory. Unfortunately, this isn't happening. Selma Blair is in talks to play Kim. NO!!!!

 

Kath & Kim is a hilarious Australian comedy about the dysfunctional relationship between a mother (Kath) and daughter (Kim). The two actresses that play Kath & Kim are basically the same age. They also play other roles. You can catch it on the Sundance channel. This shit is genius.

 

I like Molly and I like Selma, but I don't like them fucking with Kath & Kim. Besides Selma has better things to do. Who the hell is going to play the "neurotic" supporting friend in romantic comedies? Selma is the only one that can do this, so she simply doesn't have time for TV.

 

I'm waiting for the American version of "Nighty Night." It's coming and it won't be pretty.

 

http://www.dlisted.com/

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What A Nightmare

 

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"Nightmare on Elm Street" is getting butchered. Variety reports that Michael Bay is currently putting together a remake of the classic horror film. This isn't a sequel or prequel, it's a straight-up remake. Just like the recent Halloween and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. They are aiming for a May start.

 

It's unlikely that the original Freddy Krueger, Robert Englund, will return. They will most likely cast somebody else in the role. Can I recommend Joan Van Ark? No mask needed!

 

They better bring back Heather Langenkamp! She's probably like 60 now, but her career needs to be resurrected!

 

This movie will suck hedgehog nuts, but it will most likely makes tons of dough. People will see fucking anything. Me included.

 

http://www.dlisted.com/

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What Else Is There To Butcher?

 

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ShockTilYouDrop is reporting that Michael Bay's production company, Platinum Dunes, plans to remake the 1968 film Rosemary's Baby. Platinum Dunes is in talks to update the Roman Polanski film. The original movie was based on an Ira Levin novel and it starred Mia Farrow, John Cassavetes and Ruth Gordon.

 

Platinum Dunes is also working on the remakes of Nightmare on Elm Street, The Birds and Friday the 13th. They should change their name to The Butcher House.

 

We know how this is going to play. Jessica Alba, ScarJo or Keira Knightley will play Rosemary. Hayden Christensen, Ryan Phillipe or Chris Klein will play Guy. They will get some cheesy band like Good Charlotte to do a title theme. They will fill that shit with a ton of pathetic CGI effects. Fuck, they might as well get a big name to play the baby. I'm thinking Jack Nicholson.

 

Stop the madness! Can't they remake shit that actually needs help? Howard the Duck maybe? Yeah, what am I talking about? That movie is perfect just the way it is.

 

http://www.dlisted.com/

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Here's a new low in remakes that shouldn't happen....

 

 

The Daily Mail claims Madonna has approached a major Hollywood studio about remaking "Casablanca" with her as the star! Its get better. According to these sources, Madonna wants to set the remake in Iraq. YES! Dear studio heads, make this happen!

 

A source said, "Madonna is talking about taking the Ingrid Bergman role for herself, even though Bergman was in her 20s when she played Ilsa and Madonna is nearly 50. She wants to update the story and maybe set it in a modern war zone such as Iraq. There is no script yet."

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Here's a new low in remakes that shouldn't happen....

 

 

A source said, "Madonna is talking about taking the Ingrid Bergman role for herself, even though Bergman was in her 20s when she played Ilsa and Madonna is nearly 50. She wants to update the story and maybe set it in a modern war zone such as Iraq. There is no script yet."

-_- Ugh. I saw this yesterday, and could not believe it.

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Report: Matthew McConaughey to Play Magnum

 

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Matthew McConaughey (left) and Tom Selleck

 

Is Matthew McConaughey ready to put on a (Hawaiian) shirt?

 

According to a report in Entertainment Weekly, the dad-to-be has been offered the title role in a new big-screen version of the '80s hit Magnum P.I..

 

McConaughey, 38, is reportedly reading the script (written by Dodgeball's Rawson Thurber), but has not yet announced whether he'll accept the role of Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV.

 

Of course, the Ferrari-driving private investigator was originally played by Tom Selleck.

 

Hmmmmm ... How would McConaughey look with a mustache?

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Here's a new low in remakes that shouldn't happen....

 

 

A source said, "Madonna is talking about taking the Ingrid Bergman role for herself, even though Bergman was in her 20s when she played Ilsa and Madonna is nearly 50. She wants to update the story and maybe set it in a modern war zone such as Iraq. There is no script yet."

-_- Ugh. I saw this yesterday, and could not believe it.

 

This one comes up a lot, last time it was Bennifer V1 that wanted to remake it. :rolleyes: this is even WORSE :o and I never would have thought that possible.

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Matthew McConaughey offered 'Magnum P.I.'

 

 

 

How about this for perfect casting: EW.com has learned that Matthew McConaughey has been offered the role of Thomas Magnum in Universal Pictures' adaptation of Magnum P.I., based on the successful '80s television show that starred Tom Selleck. The character, a former Navy Seal turned reluctant detective, seems a sweet match for the laid-back actor. McConaughey, we're told, is reading the script from writer/director Rawson Thurber (Dodgeball) and will decide shortly. Now the burning questions: Will he grow a mustache for the role? And will our Hawaiian shirts suddenly be cool again? Developing

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Why are they remaking Magnum into a movie, why Posted Image Don't they get it? Thomas Magnum = Tom Selleck. I won't accept anyone else in that role.

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Jonah Hill heads to '21 Jump Street'

Actor will help develop film adaptation of series

By TATIANA SIEGEL

 

Jonah Hill is in negotiations to develop a modern-day adaptation of "21 Jump Street" for Columbia Pictures.

 

The smallscreen property, which aired from 1987-91 on Fox and starred Johnny Depp, revolved around a group of young cops who worked undercover in high schools and colleges.

 

The "Superbad" thesp would develop the screenplay as a potential starring vehicle and serve as executive producer.

 

Neal Moritz will produce the film with Stephen J. Cannell, who co-created and exec produced the series.

 

Hill, who can be seen onscreen in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," next co-stars in the comedy "This Side of the Truth" and has a voice role in DreamWorks Animation's "How to Train Your Dragon." He is attached to star in the Judd Apatow-produced comedy "Get Him to the Greek" for Universal and director Nick Stoller.

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Funny...this thread pops up when AMC is now playing "Escape From New York" with Kurt Russell. Geez, please don't attempt to remake this great movie.. :o

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http://dlisted.com/node/32435

 

This Has Given Me A Tuesday Afternoon Headache

 

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Has Simon Cowell been drinking from Paula Abdul's sippy cup, because that's the only way to explain why he's planning to remake Saturday Night Fever. It gets worse. Simon wants Zac Efron to play Tony Manero. It gets worserer (yes, I wrote worserer). Simon wants Timbaland to rework the Bee Gees' soundtrack. This news gives you permission to get out of your chair, walk over to your office enemy, slap them and explain, "Simon Cowell is remaking Saturday Night Fever with Zac Efron as Tony." They will understand, because you have to take your anger out on someone.

 

The Sun says that Simon has been working on the deal for years with producer Robert Stigwood, who owns the rights. During the last few weeks talks have gotten more intense and it looks like they are going to make a deal. And Satan laughs.

 

If Zac is the star, they are going to completely cover this shit with rainbows and sparklies. No rape scene. No racial tension. No drugs. No fuck words. No nekkidness. No hood rat stuff. And No DONNA PESCOW! This should be illegal. Illegal I tell you.

 

What's next? Is Simon going to remake Gone with the Wind with Susan Boyle and her cat Pebbles. Actually, that would be kind of hot.

 

Posted by: Michael K

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Zac Efron looks like a perpetual 6th grade boy. Remaking "Saturday Night Live" sounds like a flop waiting to happen. Why can't the powers behind moviemaking find good stories, new stories, to enthrall us with???

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This is just plain wrong!

 

http://www.showbizspy.com/article/190401/h...rella-role.html

 

Heigl, Miller & Alba ‘Eye Barbarella Role’

Aug 11 2009. Posted by Adam

 

Katherine Heigl, Sienna Miller and Jessica Alba are all reportedly vying for a role as the new Barbarella.

 

Casting for the remake of the 1968 sci-fi classic starring Jane Fonda as a scantily-clad intergalactic world saver is soon to get underway with a bevy of beauties already on the hot list to follow in Fonda’s footsteps.

 

“The script is underway and John Carpenter is set to direct so it’s all about finding the new Barbarella,” reports a movie insider. “This will be a huge movie and with Barbarella such a strong female character, half the leading ladies in Hollywood will want this role.

 

“Sienna, Jessica and Katherine are probably top of the list but others have not been ruled out. Whoever gets it is going to have to look super-hot in not very much clothing!”

 

However, Factory Girl star Miller likely won’t get the role — she doesn’t consider herself particularly credible when it comes to success at the box office.

 

“I was having to pay people to see my movies!… certain really great directors have wanted to do films with me, but unless you’ve had a film that’s opened with a certain amount of money, you’re not bankable to studios… if you want to make amazing, artistic films, you’ve got to have some sort of box office credibility, which I don’t have,” Sienna recently told Nylon magazine.

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Sorry,

I have nothing to add. :unsure: I just had to post something to make that damn john cena crap leave my screen. I didn't want whoever keeps trying to overrun the forum to think it was working. It's been the top thread on FILM CHATTER for awhile. Hope everyone's enjoying their vacation. But from now on, whenever I see that :angry3: name, I avoid the thread like the plague!!!!

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