schumibabe

Is anyone else surprised that only two of the couples in the original poll have split? And looking at the possibilities, I wouldn't have put those two at the top of my "most likely to" list.

Being in an "easily pleased" mood today, this made me chuckle: Popbitch mailout: >> Sax pest << McCartney Jnr is good at music Beatrice McCartney - daughter of Heather Mills and Sir Paul McCartney - got a glowing report at her recent parents' evening. One teacher commented on the girl's musical prowess, to which Heather replied: "She gets that from me, I play the saxophone."

So if it wasn't a publicity contract, are we talking GMD style (minus the cultism)?

Ryan Reynolds & Scarlett Johansson Have Separated 23 minutes ago by TMZ Staff -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- TMZ has learned Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson have separated. We're told Ryan and Scarlett are living apart. And we're told it's amicable. The couple was married in September, 2008.

Unfortunately not; it looks like we'll have to put up with the farce for another year: Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes Marry! Update Sunday November 19, 2006 11:15 AM EST Originally posted Saturday November 18, 2006 01:55 PM EST It's official: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are now husband and wife. The couple exchanged vows Saturday in front of more than 150 guests at the Odescalchi Castle in Lake Bracciano, Italy, their rep, Arnold Robinson, confirms to PEOPLE.

How much do I love the quote marks in the title! :4biggrin: http://www.showbizspy.com/article/218389/j...into-labor.html John Travolta Leaves Australia as Kelly Preston ‘Goes Into Labor’ JOHN Travolta has been forced to end his trip to Australia and is flying back home to America because his actress wife Kelly Preston has gone into labor. The Old Dogs star was Down Under for the 90th anniversary of Qantas airlines, and vowed to return if Kelly went into labor. Travolta took to the air in his personal Boeing 707 to wing his way back to his family, according to Aussie newspaper the Herald Sun. Travolta confirmed last week the couple were expecting a boy, who they have already named Benjamin. The due date was to be November 26. The couple has a daughter, Ella Blu, 10. Their son Jett tragically died in 2009 after suffering a seizure during a family holiday in the Bahamas. America’s Globe magazine recently claimed Kelly is faking her pregnancy and the couple actually had a surrogate carry their baby, which is not entirely unbelievable..

Dawson's Creek. Mmmmm - Pacey goodness!! And he just seems to get better with age.

Dlisted: Monday, October 11th 2010 Ross Got Married Oh, I see how you're going to play this, Ross! I see how you're going to bop your TV sister's busted marriage on the head in the life game of Whac-A-Mole. So yeah, 43-year-old David Schwimmer exchanged vows and shit with 25-year-old British photographer Zoe Buckman all the way back in June, but his rep is just getting around to confirming it to Entertainment Weekly. My guess is that David's rep sent out the "Yay, They're Married, Blah Blah Blah" press release back in June, but the cyber pigeon took a wrong turn, got lost and was forced to nibble on some cyber rice for nourishment. As soon as its claw touched Entertainment Weekly's inbox, it exploded into a million pieces. EW's team of interns spent weeks piecing together the message and they just finished today. The same day that Courtney Cox announced that her marriage is lying on the table with an IV in its ass. TOTAL COINCIDENCE! David Schwimmer isn't driving in his happy marriage wagon with his child bride at his side and laughing as they cross the bridge over the marsh where Courtney Cox's marriage is about to be devoured a pack of alligators. No, not at all! But Courtney will be the one laughing in a few months when the divorce force strikes David! Well, they don't call him Ross, The Divorce Force for nothing. Posted by: Michael K

From Dlisted QOTD: Adam Levine On Jake Gyllenhaal's Rumored Love For Peen Janet Charlton has already said that Jake Gyllenhaal will only put his mouth on a tube if it's made of glass (or plastic) and ejaculates weed smoke. And now Maroon 5's Adam Levine is joining the "JAKEY LOVES POON" choir. Adam tells Out Magazine (via HuffPo) that he's sick of simple ass bitches (GUILTY!) saying that Jakey loves to fill his six-pack gutters with man chowder. Adam put it like this: "Will everyone stop thinking that dude is gay? Seriously guys. How immature is it of the media to perceive this guy -- it has to be because of Brokeback, right? I've known this dude forever. He's one of my oldest friends, and it's very weird that they have this -- it's very immature and infantile the way they treat his whole situation. If him hanging out with his bros means he's gay, it's like further perpetuating that weird homophobia that exists in our culture, which is just stupid. So, yeah, he's my buddy. I fuckin' love the guy" Duly noted, the sequel! Everyone got that, again? Jakey is straighter than a southern baptist pastor! Err, bad example. Okay, let me try this again... Jakey is straighter than a conservative member of New Zealand's parliament! Okay, another shit example. Basically, what I'm getting at is that Ted Casablanca has some explaining to do! P.S. - Jakey is still Toothy Tile to me, now and forever. Posted by: Michael K

You have got to be kidding me!!! 'Milkaholic' law suit settled

http://dlisted.com/node/38832 The Party Is Over For George Michael! Or maybe the party has just begun? BBC News reports that George Michael will soon be singing "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go To The Showers" to his cell mate (GONG me in the nalgas, I like it), because he has been sentenced to 8 weeks in the chokey for smashing into a Snappy Snaps while driving under the influence of marijuana. George is already singing "I'm never going to drive again..." after he lost his drivers license for six months (GONG me again!). Shortly after George pleaded guilty to the charge, he checked into rehab for a quick second and apologized to all of his fans for being a mess. George said that he accepts all responsibility for his actions. Woe is George. For the next 8 weeks, he'll be shoved into close quarters with a bunch of sweaty and rough men who grunt when they thrust. Rough men who will give him a contraband joint for daily assjobs in the toilets. AND you can't get arrested for fucking around in those toilets. Yeah, change that headline, because the party is definitely on. Posted by: Michael K He used to be so purty!

Hopefully someone at Child Services reads In Touch magazine.

You're not specifically talking about Jesse James here, are you?

Funny you should say that. From Dlisted: Wonky Really Does Have Talent! Joe Francis, the douchebag with the most punchable face in the world, is trying to cock block one of his former employees from releasing a tell-all which paints him as a "child molester, tax cheat, rapist, coked-out amoral direct marketer, violent thug and sexual predator." You know, all the things Joe's oldest auntie calls him when she pinches his face cheeks at family reunions. "You adorable little coked out tax cheat rapist you.." The book FLASH! Bars, Boobs, and Busted: 5 Years on the Road with Girls Gone Wild written by Ryan Simkin isn't out yet, but he's been releasing excerpts including this one about Wonky McValtrex's ONE MAJOR TALENT! Ryan writes that Joe called him from Europe one day and asked him to get twenty hits of ecstasy and four 8-balls of coke from Girls Gone Wild's controller/drug dealer. Joe instructed Ryan to get the bundle of the bad shit to his girlfriend at the time Paris Hilton. Ryan put it all in a Camel ciggie box and met Wonks at Smashbox Studios where she was doing a photo shoot for Seventeen. Ryan went on to write: I took out the Camel box and handed it to her, and she thanked me. We talked for a minute or two about the apparent difficulty of procuring those drugs in Europe. I asked if she was flying private, and she said, "No, commercial." And then as politely as I could, I asked her how she planned on traveling with that amount of blow and X. She held the box in her right hand, and then with an underhand swoop like a lower case J, she demonstrated exactly how she intended to beat airport security. She even whistled as she did it. A little alley-oop with the Camel Box, straight up her snatch. Classic. Right after that they came in with her next outfit, and she put it on. She said we could stay for a while and watch, but we were tired, and our work there was done. We hugged, said our goodbyes, and my roommate and I went back to the car to go home. I don't think we said five words to each other the entire car ride. I spoke to Joe a couple weeks later. He thanked me again for the favor and said it all arrived safe. I guess so. And I bet that when Wonky pulled out the Camel box in Europe, that shit was empty! Tinkerbell, the army of pussy parasites and all her crotch crustaceans snorted it all up! Do you blame them? Every day, they all sit in Wonky's cooch cavern waiting for some kind of nourishment to come through. When it's a peen, they just stand against her sour walls filing their nails and waiting for it to leave. But when it's a box of something good, they fight over that shit Lord of the Flies-style! Bitch's pussy is like the opening to Ursula's lair. I would call Tinkerbell and Wonky's crabs "poor unfortunate souls" but they probably snort more coke than all of us combined! via Gawker & THR Posted by: Michael K

Whatever happened to booking photos that actually looked like a person was in police custody rather than a headshot for an audition?

I promise to be a very, very, VERY good girl all year if this turns out to be Beckham!!!

Aaaaand ... the customary denial BITCH PLEASE: Eddie Cibrian Denies Cheating On LeAnn Rimes Eddie Cibrian pissed all over the rumor from Star Magazine that he creeped out on LeAnn Rimes with his estranged wife Brandi Glanville. Eddie got maaaaaaaad on his Twitter and waved a finger at both Brandi and Star for co-piloting a bull dozer headed straight for his happy home with LeAnn. Don't they know that only Eddie and LeAnn are allowed to do that kind of shit?! Here's Eddie unleashing his wrath on the both of 'em: Once again my ex has stooped to a new low attempting to sabotage my beautiful relationship with LeAnn. Not surprisingly the ONLY magazine that decided to run the story shares the same credibility and delusion as my ex. They should be ashamed of themselves. BUT WAIT! A different source backed up Brandi's claim to E! Online. This source says that Eddie did pass his peen to Brandi, but it was shortly after he left her for LeAnn. The source explains, "LeAnn knew about it 100 percent! Obviously, she was upset. Eddie and Brandi were intimate after he and LeAnn were together, but it only happened twice." LeAnn went on her own Twitter to defend Eddie, and said they are in Montana to escape the bullshit by locking themselves up in a cabin. More like LeAnn is locking up Eddie's dick before he sticks it in another snatch that doesn't belong to her. Nice try, LeAnn. I'm sure there are some devastatingly sessy bears, geese, horses, coyotes, platypuses and trout in Montana that Eddie just won't be able to resist. Eddie is a for real whore who gets the shakes if he doesn't hump on a different piece. LeAnn even posted a "Yup, this bitch is mine!" picture on her Twitter last night. Braggy bitch. I'm telling you, Eddie's anal gland lips will be pressed up against a lady moose or a farmer with womanly hips by the start of the weekend. YOU CAN RUN AND TELL THAT! Posted by: Michael K

From Dlisted Revenge Is A Scorned Bitch Named Brandi Glanville Eddie Cibrian's soon-to-be ex-wife Brandi Glanville is biting back at LeAnn Rimes for fucking on him while they were together. Specifically, Brandi is biting into a pillow (Brandi calls that particular pillow "LeAnn") while getting dicked from behind by Eddie! According to Star Magazine, Eddie cheated on LeAnn with Brandi whom he dropped for LeAnn. Brandi is straight up pulling some "What Goes Around Cums On My Titties" shit! It's a good thing that none of these sluts have dignity or self-respect, because it makes for a hot Star Magazine cover. A source says that Eddie just can't keep his wandering wang in check even though he has moved in with LeAnn. The source adds that long after Eddie got with LeAnn full-time, he started bumping genitals with his wife Brandi. Brandi didn't even to try to deny it when Star asked her about it. Brandi said, "LeAnn is getting a bitter taste of her own medicine. Eddie will keep cheating, because that’s just what he does.” And that bitterness LeAnn is tasting is actually Brandi's pussy juices on Eddie's peen. LeAnn would get revenge on Eddie by boning her ex, but his face is currently occupied by a few pairs of musty nutsacks and she doesn't want to be rude by asking them to leave. Posted by: Michael K

Another vote here for laser surgery. My eye "thing" was so bad it used to take me about half an hour to put in contacts. Despite reservations right up until the second the surgery started I'm so glad I went ahead. An hour or so later I was on my way home, marvelling that I could read all the advertisements along the inside of the bus without glasses. It still amazes me now, seven years later. Do lots of research. I went with the surgeon who lasered the eyes of some of the Canucks hockey team. Figured they'd only go for the best! Go for it. Oh, and Mel's a big shit.

More here

Probably designed because her crotch really does hang too low...by now. For various reasons. :4biggrin: Well there's a lovely visual just before I eat lunch!!

Dlisted: What In The Hell Kind Of GD Outfit Is This? Lindsay Lohan has already sold off pictures of the booze blocker on her ankle, so I'm guessing that's the last we're going to see of it. LiLo is doing whatever it takes to keep our eyes from staring at her SCRAM including covering her legs by wearing one of Disco Granny's old rhinestone jumpsuits. This is probably the same shit White Oprah wore back in the day when she trolled reservation casinos looking for a sugar daddy to pay her motel room for a week if she sucked on his taint. And speaking of old man taint, that's probably the smell that is going to jump off of LiLo's ankle when that SCRAM finally comes off. The Food Network better be on hand for that event, because you know new kinds of cheese will be uncovered. More pics here

Oh my goodness!?

According to Radar Online she's the one.

LiLo's shock torture photos http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/showbiz/xs...to-session.html