schumibabe

From dlisted: Tuesday, April 27th 2010 .....The Fuck? This is a MAN DOWN CODE 10 EYEBROW SITUATION right here. You know Lindsay Lohan put a Sharpie in Ali Lohan's hand and forced her to paint these eyebrows on, because she said it will make her look like Joan Crawford. Fuck my eyes with a wire hanger, because she looks more like the Benjamin Button-ized love child of Groucho Marx and Gollum. Lindsay Lohan should stick to sniffing Sharpies instead of using them on her sister's eyebrows. Beyond brow fuckery. I am a strong supporter of eyebrow art, but this only works if Ali Lohan wants to look like a bridge witch who lost all her teeth from chewing on children's toe nails and gnawing on deer bones. Ali's sweater is even disintegrating at the sight of her scary ass. It's afraid she's going to throw it in the oven like she did to those village kids. Release the Kraken! I said "Kraken," not "Crackhead," so you can stand down, Lindsay. Here's more of Ali with Lindsay Lohan at Millions of Milkshakes yesterday. Millions of Milkshakes is really the only place that will give Lilo a job nowadays.

You called it, mostlylurker, and because I have no life :4biggrin: here's the full National Enquirer article fresh from the keyboard! (I think it's safe to say we can replace 'the insider' with 'the cult member'.) Apologies for any typos. TOM'S SHOCKING CONFESSION TO KATIE Star reveals truth about drug use and gay lies Tom Cruise confessed to his wife Katie Holmes his secret anguish over incredible claims of gay love affairs and outrageous allegations he used drugs, sources tell The ENQUIRER. The Hollywood icon bared his soul in a bid to set the record straight about his private life, insiders say, but now the nightmare rumors have come back to haunt him in a nasty jab on an animated TV show and a new book about his religion Scientology. During his emotional heart-to-heart with Katie, the 47-year-old “Top Gun” star blasted the gay lies and false claims of drug use that have tainted his straight-arrow image for decades. “Tom recently sat Katie down and made it absolutely clear to hear that there’s no truth to either the gay stores about him or the rumors in the new book that he’s used drugs,” an insider divulged. “He got really emotional and told Katie, ‘It’s all lies!’ I think she was shocked at the rumors that Tom has had to deal with over the years.” In the latest dig at Cruise’s sexuality, Comedy Central’s irreverent animated show “South Park” made thinly veiled attacks on the star in its special 200th episode that aired April 14. A cartoon version of Cruise was shown working in a fudge factory, prompting the “South Park” kids to tauntingly call the character a gay slur. Furious, the cartoon Cruise leads other celebrities in a class action lawsuit against the town. Tom has always been quick to shoot down stories about his supposed gay affairs, and it drives him crazy that the rumors and references to them keep resurfacing,” the insider said. “But most important to him is that Katie knows who he really is. Tom said to her, ‘How many times do I have to say that I’m not gay?’ He hates that there’s a false smear on his reputation that he doesn’t deserve.” Now Cruise is gearing up for a legal fight against bogus claims about drug use made in a bombshell new book written by a former high-ranking member of Scientology. Cruise was introduced to the religion by his first wife, actress Mimi Rogers, and joined in 1990. In her memoir “Scientology – Abuse at the Top,” ex-Scientologist Amy Scobee claims that Cruise was “gung-ho” to join the church’s elite “Sea Org” group, but didn’t qualify due to his “drug history.” Scobee offers no further proof of Cruise’s “drug history,” and was hit with a letter from the actor’s high-powered attorney Bertram Fields that blasted her claim as “demonstrably false and defamatory.” In his letter, Fields wrote: “Mr. Cruise has no ‘drug history’ whatsoever. He has never used illegal drugs of any kind.” Cruise is actually strongly anti-drug, said the insider, and he went public with his feelings during two headline-making incidents in 2005. In a TV interview, the “War of the Worlds” star appeared to criticize actress Brooke Shields for taking antidepressants to combat postpartum depression, and he also lectured Matt Lauer on the history of psychiatry on the “Today show. When Cruise sat down to talk about his past with Katie, he took pains to denounce rumors about his drug use, said the insider. “Tom told Katie, ‘I can’t believe anyone would ever suggest that I’ve had anything to do with drugs. Nothing could be further from the truth!’” the insider said. But the book’s claims on his drug use and the South Park” jab at his sexuality are only the latest in a long string of incredible slurs against the actor. Cruise was barely 21 when he soared to superstardom in the 1983 comedy “Risky Business,” and his pretty-boy looks launched an endless stream of salacious stories about his personal life. “In the early days, there were rumors that Tom used to take all-guy trips out in a boat in Marina del Rey. Tom didn’t know where the story came from but it wasn’t true,” said the insider. Cruise married his second wife, actress Nicole Kidman, in 1990, and the couple adopted two children. In 1998, he sued a British tabloid that alleged their marriage was a sham. And in 2001, Cruise slapped gay porn actor Chad Salter with a $100million lawsuit over claims the two men had carried on a torrid affair. Slater, a wrestler also known as Kyle Bradford, allegedly told a French magazine that he had a “romantic encounter” with Cruise. Slater denied ever having talked to the magazine and later admitted that he had never met the “Mission Impossible” star. The magazine has since printed a retraction of its original article. Cruise also sued Slater’s wife after she claimed her husband had met Tom in the past. The lawsuit said: “Tom Cruise is not and has never been homosexual.” Cruise is upset by the latest attacks, but suspects they stem from simple jealousy, said the insider. “Tom is totally against prescription drugs and he’s got nothing against gay people, but he doesn’t want his children hearing this gossip,” said the insider. “Tom thinks perhaps that people envy his success, particularly now that he’s so happy with Katie and their daughter Suri. It’s like they can’t just let him enjoy his life. “After the spate of stores following his couch-jumping episode on “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” Tom has generally kept his head down. But as hard as he tries, he can’t seem to shake the false gay and drug use stores. They just won’t go away.” By Philip Kim pkim@nationalenquirer.com and David Gardner

From Dlisted: As Long As They Don't Procreate..... Lindsay Lohan's father Michael and Kate Major, Star Magazine reporter turned girlfriend of Jon Gosselin, have announced that they are engaged to be married. Cue the cricket farts. 50-year-old Michael tells People that they spent the Easter holiday with Kate's family so that he could get her father's approval. 27-year-old Kate cleared the bull feces out of her mouth and then said, "I'm very traditional, so I wanted him to talk to my father. Michael went down with me to Florida for Easter, to meet my father to ask for his permission, and my father gave his blessing. I'm ecstatic. I'm very happy. Michael and I have known each other for four years, and it's meant to be." Michael added, "I'm ecstatic. I've never met anyone who's been there for me like Kate. She's always been there for me. The one thing about Kate is that she doesn't come with baggage." Doesn't it make your sphincter itch when two famewhores find love with each other? I'm sure they will share their pure love with the country in a wedding that will be televised on the Fox Reality Channel on a Monday at 3am. But seriously, Kate's father must not only hate her, but he also must hate himself. Kate, who has the face of a Bulldog puppy with downs, not only dated Jon Grosselin, but now she's MARRYING Michael Lohan?! What went wrong?! Kate probably got into her mother's bathroom cabinet when she was a child and drank an entire bottle of Summer's Eve. She hasn't been the same since. Posted by: Michael K

That wouldn't surprise me. The NE has had similar misleading headlines in the past. ETA: That's weird - I was replying in the GMD and Beard thread and got a "This thread has been locked" message. Now it's disappeared from the list. The cult's powers are far-reaching!!

Lainey: Porny’s matchy matchy lace and length NO. It’s ... hideous. My Porny Jessica Simpson is back in New York promoting the final episode of her beauty show. As you can see, Porny wanted to match. Jacket, dress, shoes. And a lace pattern. Sausage lace pattern. That cuts her off at the worst length. F-ck them. They keep telling her it’s flattering. F-ck them for doing this. But those massive guns. The tit shelf. I mean, the land mass of those cans, it’s like a continent. Continental breasts. They are everywhere. She’s, like, one giant boob. Oddly enough, given the right outfit, even showing some cleavage, it is possible for her to contain them without being overtaken by them. Compare and contrast my Porny in red and short just hours later. See? So much better. One step forward, 5 tits back. (More photos here) Photos from Turgeon/Rocke/Splashnewsonline.com

You could be right, but here's another one from the same page where she's holding her son's hand: ... and a slightly more normal-looking one (although definitely not the airbrushed look):

http://theblemish.com/2010/04/sarah-jessic...o-a-cage-fight/ Sarah Jessica Parker should challenge Madonna to a cage fight By The Blemish, 12:54 PM on Apr 09, 2010, 24 Comments Holy crap. Madonna better watchout because Sarah Jessica Parker is coming for her crown for freakiest arms. What the hell happened? It looks like she should be ripping phone books in half and bending frying pans. I wonder if it hurt when she was bombarded with gamma radiation. Do all her clothes rip off when she gets angry or do her pants turn into cutoff jeans like Bruce Banner?

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showb...ood-biopic.html Come as you R-Patz ROBERT PATTINSON has landed his dream film role - playing KURT COBAIN in a Hollywood biopic. The Twilight star has always thought of himself as a musician rather than an actor, he even reckons his guitar is his best friend. So securing a part playing the tragic NIRVANA genius, who shot himself in 1994, is ideal for the pin-up. R-Patz has been in regular contact with Kurt's widow COURTNEY LOVE, who has been handed a key role in the production by bosses at Universal Pictures. The HOLE singer wanted R-Patz as Kurt and SCARLETT JOHANSSON to portray her. My graphics team have mocked up Rob and Scarlett as the hellraising pair. A source said: "This is a big money deal for Courtney. "She has agreed to the film on condition that she gets to decide the main aspects of the project including director, casting, screenplay and music. "Robert has been calling and emailing her non-stop. She has been a bit wound up by his manners, but he is her number one choice to play Kurt. "She is adamant Scarlett will play her. Scarlett is friendly with FRANCES BEAN, her daughter with Kurt." Courtney has been in touch with director DAVID FINCHER about the project, which has the working title All Apologies. He was behind Fight Club, Se7en and The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button. It's not the first time a studio have tried to make a film about Nirvana, who had hits with Come As You Are and Smells Like Teen Spirit. A few years ago Sony Pictures were told to sling their hook by Courtney when they floated the idea of ZAC EFRON as Kurt, while Frances Bean would play her mum. I have to say, the 14-year-old in me was a little bit sick when I found out a Twilight vampire was playing a rock idol. But at least it's an improvement on the man lined up to play Kurt in the West End - Footballers' Wives star GARY LUCY.

Maybe after many, MANY hours of photoshopping!

From Dlisted: Kate Winslet And Sam Mendes Have Quit Each Other Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes have gone their separate ways after 7 years of marriage. Kate and Sam quietly broke up earlier this year after they realized their love died when they moved to the suburbs of Connecticut. Why didn't they just go to Paris?! Why did Kate have to try to abort her own baby?! WHY?! WHY?! Note: That's the plot of a movie, that isn't real-life. I think. Kate and Sam issued this diplomatic statement through a lawyer: "Kate and Sam are saddened to announce that they separated earlier this year. The split is entirely amicable and is by mutual agreement. Both parties are fully committed to the future joint parenting of their children."　 Just because Kate Winslet broke up with her husband doesn't mean she's going to dive to the bottom of the ocean to grab Leonardo DiCaprio's hand and bring him back to shore with her so they can live happily ever after. That shit was jut a movie! Yes, Kate and Leo are always dry humping on each other at awards shows, but that doesn't mean anything. They are just best girlfriends. Besides, Leonardo DiCatchaho only dates women he can order through the Sports Illustrated catalog. Posted by: Michael K

This might be the creepiest showbiz-related comment I have read since Papa Joe Simpson's ravings about his daughter's double-Ds. No kidding. Sounds like she's a show dog they're getting ready for breeding. I bet she's wishing she'd been as astute as Joey Potter and gone for a real life Pacey instead of Dawson.

The guy I get my Canucks tickets off is in town for the Olympics and he e-mailed today to ask if I wanted to go to a game tomorrow (freebie!) but I have to work. But I've told my supervisor (who luckily is also my friend) that if there's any chance of getting in to see a Canada game live I'm outta here! and she's OK with that. (I wouldn't mind catching a Sweden game either as my twins are playing.) You wouldn't believe the prices some people with gold medal tickets are selling them for. A guy in my building has four and wants 30 grand! He was even interviewed on one of the local news bulletins about it.

I'm hoping to go downtown to watch one of the games in amongst the millions. The Canada/USA game on Sunday might be a good choice. I should make a "Hello Hoya" banner!!

I'm so excited about the Canada vs Norway game tomorrow. Not only are they playing in my place of worship (GM Place), but my man Bobby Lu (a rarity amongst hockey players in that he is hunky AND has all his teeth!) is the starting goalie. The city's been crazy for days but it's gonna get crazier tomorrow.

Dlisted: Friday, January 29th 2010 A Refugee From RPattz's Magical Unicorn Forest Kelis galloped into the Data Awards in Los Angeles last night looking like something Mimi's brain might burp up during a champagne-fueled daydream. What do we focus on? Do we focus on the Jane Child nostril-to-earlobe chains? The unicorn of liberty crown? The feather lashes? The mutant goat hooves? The old lady braid? NO! Direct your eyes to Kelis' suffocating vagina! The only kind of rubber a vagina wants to eat is a condom. Why does Kelis have to do her chocha like that? When she finally freed her snatch from the wall of latex later on in the night, it probably needed mouth-to-mouth. Pussy abuse is not the look. And Kelis also needs less internet in her life, because she's starting to get fashion tips from YouTube: Unicorn - Goodbye Horses However, I will give it up for the intergalactic being from a disco ball far far away posing with Kelis below. Wiriemage, Wenn.com Posted by: Michael K

When the hell did he find time for golf?? http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/showbiz/69...e-for-Elin.html TIGER WOODS' BRIT ON THE SIDE The secret birdie no-one knew about... and she's a double for Elin By Jane Atkinson & James Desborough, 24/01/2010 TIGER Woods paid HALF A MILLION dollars - around £300,000 - to buy the silence of a blonde British mum who has been his secret mistress for 18 months. The cheating golf superstar fixed the golden kiss-off for Emma Rotherham to set her up for life after she vowed NEVER to talk about their torrid fling. The stunning 42-year-old mother of two - the 19th Tiger conquest revealed so far and the image of his wife Elin - was given the fortune in CASH. One of the love rat's security team handed over the money in a sports bag stuffed with $100 bills. It followed an incredible cloak and dagger operation orchestrated by 34-year-old Woods to stop curvy Emma being identified as one of his harem. But a source close to Tiger told the News of the World: "Emma was his most recent mistress. They had a very, very passionate relationship and she has dozens of text messages and emails from him. Some were even sent while Tiger was trying to patch things up with his wife Elin. "If those came out they'd bury him. He absolutely adored Emma and loved the sex. So did she. "And as she lived near his Florida home in Isleworth she was always on call. They were at it all the time. Emma said Tiger was a great lover. But he never wore a condom, and she didn't take any precautions. "The 500 grand has now bought Emma's silence and she has signed a confidentiality agreement. She's very happy and walking round with a big grin on her face - like the cat that got the cream." PARTY GIRL - Emma met Tiger in club Woods - the world's richest sportsman - kept in constant contact with Emma as he announced that he was trying to be a "better husband" to wife Elin Nordegren. All the time he was desperately trying to ensure she'd never hear about Emma, who has a daughter of 16 and another of 25. But today the News of the World reveals all - how sex addict Woods: ROMPED with Emma at least once a week on his office sofa. PLEADED for saucy photos of her in stockings and suspenders. DEMANDED she wear a wedding ring to stop men hitting on her. REVELLED in drug-fuelled sex sessions at a top golf tournament. Emma moved to Florida four years ago after her youngest daughter finished primary school in London but regularly flies back to visit her mum and sister. She first met Woods at his favourite hunting ground for women, Orlando's Blue Martini club, in May 2008. Her fabulous figure inside a tight black jump suit caught Woods' roving eye. Our source said: "Tiger couldn't keep his eyes off her butt. Everyone in the room knew what was going to happen sooner or later. He sat next to her most of the evening. You could see he was making a play for her. Emma speaks very well with a posh English accent. And Tiger loved it. He thought she sounded classy and sexy." The pair exchanged phone numbers at the end of the evening. Days later Woods contacted Emma by text and they agreed to meet at his office in Windermere. Our insider told us: "Nothing major happened, just some kissing and fondling. But by the third meeting she and Tiger had sex on the couch. She said it was 'awesome'." Emma made no secret of her affair. Woods asked her not to tell anyone but she couldn't resist boasting about her celebrity lover. Emma got regular text messages from Woods asking her to send teasing lingerie snaps and saying: "I miss you baby." Our source said: "Emma has a killer body and Tiger was smitten. He was always asking for sexy photos and loved her to dress in black stockings and suspenders." Woods would also text Emma to complain about his 30-year-old wife. One message said: "Having bad day - Elin being cranky." On other occasions he'd talk about his family life. One text said: "On daddy duty today." Woods tried to meet Emma at his office at least once a week for early morning sex - even while Elin was pregnant with son Charlie, now 11 months old. Our source told us: "The dates were always very early in the morning - before Tiger started his golf practice. "Emma would meet him at the office and they'd get straight down to it. Sometimes she'd complain that she wanted more from the relationship, but she wasn't interested in becoming the next Mrs Tiger Woods." Woods even arranged for Emma to fly to Michigan last August where he was competing in the Buick Open tournament. There he introduced Emma to drug-fuelled sex. Our source said: "They both took the relaxant Ambien before making love. Emma was a bit hesitant but Tiger persuaded her and she said the sex was mind-blowing. "They were at it all night. She was surprised he had the energy left to play a round of golf. But he went on to win the tournament!" Emma stayed at Woods' hotel but in a room reserved for his personal doctor. Our source added: "It was just along the corridor from Tiger's room and she'd sneak down there to have sex. "Tiger was so smitten he became very controlling and hated the thought of other men chatting Emma up. He suggested she wear a wedding ring to put them off. "And he'd text to demand a photo of what outfit she was wearing for a night out. If he thought it was too revealing he'd get jealous and text back, 'You can't wear that.' Emma ignored him but it showed he thought he was in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship." Woods often suggested they go back to his £1.7million home when Elin was away visiting family in Sweden with baby Charlie and two-year-old daughter Sam. But Emma always refused. Friends say that until recently she believed she was Woods' only steady girlfriend. Then came the infamous car crash outside his home, sparking days of revelations about other women in his life, including party girl Rachel Uchitel, local waitress Mindy Lawton, porn star Holly Sampson, model Jamie Jungers and escort Loredana Jolie. Emma sent a panicky text to Woods, who replied: "Don't contact me. Elin is going through everything." Then the News of the World discovered the truth about Emma and she called Woods who told her he would "sort it out". Our source said: "He told Emma to get out of town, he'd deal with it and not to worry." A security specialist contacted Emma and arranged for a black Mercedes, with darkened windows, to whisk her away. She was driven more than 200 miles to the luxury Ritz-Carlton hotel in the beach resort Naples. A minder gave Emma an envelope containing £28,000 pocket money which he said Tiger had laid on to keep her going. Emma's two-night stay was paid for by the security team and booked under their name. One agent said that while there Emma had several phone conversations with Woods. She was told to stay in her room and out of sight, fearing the media was on her trail. Our source said: "Emma was completely freaking out and didn't want to be away from her teenage daughter. She told Tiger she would NEVER talk about their affair, but that she had to get back home to sort out her life." Emma then moved to a rented villa on the Bay Hill golf resort near Woods' home and was in constant contact with him. Our insider said: "Emma was living like someone in witness protection, always looking over her shoulder, and being checked on by two security guys. But Tiger assured her he would sort her out." Before Christmas Emma returned to her home in the Disney dream town Celebration and a week after New Year she received her final text message from Woods, telling her to meet up with one of his security team. It was there she was handed the $500,000. The agent tried to get Emma to hand over her mobile phone holding the texts from Woods but she refused. Our source added: "Emma has tried to contact Tiger since but hasn't heard back. And I doubt she ever will. She was pretty confident her secret would never get out but there are just too many people who knew about the affair." Our revelations will come as yet another shock to Wood's devastated wife who is standing by him through therapy for sex addiction. He checked into Pine Grove Behavioural Health and Addiction Services clinic in Mississippi on December 30. But the course's crunch "Disclosure Day" is yet to come when Woods will be forced to face his wife and admit in painful detail every sexual dalliance. Today that scorecard just increased by one.

Noooooooo - not Mannequin! Friday, January 8th 2010 There Will Be A Mannequin Remake At this point, Hollywood taking a giant sledgehammer to the sparkly jewels of our childhoods by remaking them has become a part of life. It's something you are forced to deal with even though it makes a piece of your heart shrivel up, pass through your system and exit out of your asshole. You know, like not touching a narcotic for 2 weeks so you can pass a drug test. It must be done. I guess. That's why I wasn't really surprised to learn that soon someone besides Meshach Taylor will launch flaming disco balls out of his ass as Hollywooooood (Fun fact: Saying the name "Hollywooooood" over and over again is a way of exercising your prostate). And someone besides Andrew McCarthy will slide all zany-like across a department store floor as Jonathan. And someone besides Kim Cattrall will play a plastic mannequin devoid of any kind of personality (Side note to Kristen Stewart: TEXT YOUR AGENT). And someone besides Estelle Getty will....OKAY, that one I can't do. It hurts too much. This is all according to Cinematical who reports that Gladden Entertainment will modernize Mannequin with a younger cast. They are currently looking for a writer. The truth is, I'm just trying to be brave for you guys. This hurts more than the time I tried to eat a piece of broccoli without dipping it in mayonnaise first. WHY DO THEY HAVE TO RUIN MANNEQUIN? Drown us all in a sea of teddy bears instead! And whenever I put my ear up to a seashell....I don't hear the ocean....I hear this instead: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PP1HEFlkdY Nothing's gonna stop us now! Well, except maybe the Mannequin remake. Posted by: Michael K

Michael K: Monday, January 4th 2010 Would You Hit It? .....And I mean "hit it" without a golf club. Personally, I'll leave hittin' Tiger Woods to the professionals. Instead I'd like to pop an Ambien in his mouth, sit on his stomach and braid those two luscious manes of hair on his nipples. When he wakes up the next morning, he won't remember what happened and wonder why his chest looks like Nipple Longstocking. That sounds like more fun. And at least Annie Leibovitz can pay off some of her creditors so they won't give her a coronary when they jump out of her bushes as she comes home. via E! Online Posted by: Michael K

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/...-golf-club.html Wife ‘broke Tiger’s cheek with 9 iron' By RYAN SABEY Published: Today TWO-timing Tiger Woods needed his face rebuilding after fuming wife Elin battered him with a golf club, it was claimed yesterday. Furman Bisher, one of America's most respected sports journalists, said the nine iron smashed the golf legend's cheek bone - and his two front teeth were almost knocked out. Bisher - described as the country's top golf writer - also claimed the injuries are the real reason Tiger, 33, has not been seen in public since his mysterious car smash early on November 27. The retired writer claims his information came from a trustworthy colleague of Tiger's agent, Mark Steinberg. Bisher said on his blog that Tiger spent America's Thanksgiving Day, November 26, exchanging texts with mistress Rachel Uchitel, 34. He then went out to play poker with friends but left his mobile phone behind - and Elin read one of the messages. Gash Tiger returned at midnight and there was a "heated discussion". Bisher wrote: "Tiger sat in a chair in the living room. "Elin sat across from him, urging Tiger to just come clean. Tiger stayed to his guns and denied everything. "At one point Tiger turned away to look at the TV and, as he turned back, Elin hit him on the right side of the face with the head of a nine iron. "She put a huge gash in the right side of his face next to his nose, causing his nose to bruise some, virtually knocking two of his upper teeth out and breaking the bone on the upper right side. "Tiger ran scared as hell out of the house, with Elin swinging the golf club, through the hallway to the garage." The blog said that as Tiger tried to drive off, Elin smashed the car windows. He hit a tree outside their home in Orlando, Florida. Bisher said the golfer took a private jet to Phoenix, Arizona, to see a plastic surgeon and cosmetic dentist for "intense" reconstructive procedures. Allegedly, that was why he failed to meet Florida Highway Patrol cops on three occasions to discuss the crash. Tiger has now been linked to at least 13 women and has publicly apologised. His wife of five years Elin, 29, is said to have seen a divorce lawyer and spent Christmas with her family in her native Sweden. Last night Tiger's agent Mark Steinberg told The Sun Bisher's claims were "patently false". Tiger has previously denied Elin used violence.

http://www.imnotobsessed.com/2009/12/29/tiger-woods-in-rehab Tiger Woods In Rehab DEC 29, 2009 AT 01:27 PM According to X17 Online, Tiger Woods has entered a "private, upscale rehabilitation facility" in Arizona. "He has been there for a few days since his handlers forced him to enter the program. They feel that if he blames his cheating on addiction, the public will forgive him. "Tiger wants to get back on top. He agreed to put golfing on hold so he could show the world how badly he feels about what he's done and to prove that he wants to correct the problems that led to his infidelity." I'm assuming Tiger is supposed to be seeking treatment for sex addiction? You know, if he really has a problem with this, then I'm all for him getting help. If this is just a publicity stunt, then I'm not too impressed. Addictions are serious, and it feels like it trivializes things when celebs go into rehab purely for the sake of improving their image. However, I couldn't help but wondering why no one got even one picture of Tiger and Rachel Uchitel at the private party they supposedly attended. Do you believe this? And if you do, does this improve your perception of Tiger?

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/...mistresses.html Tiger out ‘partying with love Rachel’ By RYAN SABEY Published: Today LOVE rat Tiger Woods has been seen partying with his alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel, it was reported last night. The golf legend has been in hiding for a month since the car crash that led to revelations he cheated on wife Elin Nordegren, 29, with several women. But sources told a US TV show that Woods, 33, and Uchitel, 34, were spotted holding hands at a party in Palm Beach, Florida, on Sunday night. The show's website also reported the pair partied together the previous night at a club. Some sources told Entertainment Tonight they are living together in the Florida resort. Uchitel has been photographed in the area, but Woods has not been seen at all since the sex scandal broke. At least 11 women claim to have had flings with Woods. Earlier this month he admitted his "infidelity" and said he was taking an "indefinite break" from golf.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8411091.stm Accenture ends Tiger Woods sponsorship deal The giant management consultancy firm Accenture has ended its sponsorship of Tiger Woods, saying the golfer is "no longer the right representative". Woods has been engulfed in a media storm since a disturbance outside his house two weeks ago. He has since admitted being unfaithful to his wife. Woods is taking an indefinite break from golf to try to save his marriage. Accenture is the second sponsor to react to the news. Gillette has already said it would cut back Woods' role. "For the past six years, Accenture and Tiger Woods have had a very successful sponsorship arrangement and his achievements on the golf course have been a powerful metaphor for business success in Accenture's advertising," the company said in a statement. "However, given the circumstances of the last two weeks, after careful consideration and analysis, the company has determined that he is no longer the right representative for its advertising. Accenture said that "it wishes only the best for Tiger Woods and his family". Billion dollars Among his other sponsors, the US phone firm AT&T has said it is "presently evaluating our ongoing relationship" with Woods, but his main sponsor Nike said it was standing firm and offered him its "full support". Until scandal broke, Woods was one of the biggest targets for global corporations. Links with an array of brands - also including Electronic Arts video games, Gatorade drinks, and Tag Heuer watches - have helped him amass a fortune. The Associated Press says he is believed to be the first sports star to have earned $1bn (£600m). Woods, 33, is considered one of the best golfers of all time and was thought by many experts to be likely to overhaul Jack Nicklaus' record of 18 major championship victories. He has won 14 so far, but BBC golf commentator Peter Alliss believes it is possible he will not play again. "He's going to have to put up with a lot of nonsense and ridicule and comment for the next 20 to 30 years and it depends how well he tackles that," he said. "He's in a very, nasty awkward position of his own making, I'm afraid. "You have to wonder about all sorts of things that we're not privy to - his state of mind, whether he wants to continue, whether he's thinking of early retirement." The storm blew up after Woods crashed his car into a fire hydrant and a tree outside his Florida home at the end of November. Rumours of an argument in the Woods household led to media allegations about extra-marital affairs. Lurid headlines have linked him to a string of women. On Friday, Woods admitted for the first time that he had been unfaithful to his wife Elin. "I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children," said Woods in a statement.

Well this wasn't really a smart move on Knox's part. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/...orgy-story.html Killer got jail prize for drugs orgy tale By NICK PISA in Perugia Published: Today KILLER Amanda Knox won a prize in a prison essay-writing contest with a story about a sex and drugs orgy, it was claimed yesterday. The story described a man finding his lover stretched out naked and unconscious at a party where people were "smoking and injecting". In it he "swam through waves of hot bodies soaked with sweat and drink" in a packed house to reach the woman. The story, for which Knox won 100 euros, bore disturbing similarities to the drug-fuelled sex game prosecutors said Meredith refused to join in before being killed. Knox wrote the story - entitled Amore Mio, or My Love - for a competition organised by charity workers who help at the prison where she is held. A source close to the 22-year-old American's parents Edda and Curt confirmed she had won a prize for writing but that they "don't remember" what the theme was. On Knox's MySpace internet page, since shut down, she once posted a story about two brothers committing a rape. Meanwhile a politician from her home state of Washington has asked US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to investigate her conviction. Senator Maria Cantwell said she had doubts about the trial, but both sets of Italian lawyers rejected her "interference".

Say hello to number 9! (Who gives him 12 out of 10 in bed! One of them has to be fibbing.) http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/63152...iger-Woods.html

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/...mee-Grubbs.html Tiger ‘is horrible in bed’ By PETE SAMSON US Editor Published: Today TIGER Woods was rated as "horrible in bed" by one of his lovers, it was revealed yesterday. The damning verdict came from cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs, who says she had a 31-month fling with the married golf superstar. The 24-year-old mistress told fellow contestants on US TV reality show Tool Academy she had also "hooked up" with George Clooney. But while she was full of praise for the movie heartthrob, she mauled Tiger. Telly pal Krista Grubb, 27, told The Sun: "She was showing all these texts saying they were from Tiger and George. One she said was from George said, 'When can I get in there again?' He signed it G. "She said she met him while working as a cocktail waitress in Los Angeles and they would meet up in Vegas and he was a lot of fun. "Jaimee said George was amazing but wasn't so nice about Tiger. She just kept saying he was horrible in bed." Another pal of Jaimee said Woods, 33, offered to buy her an apartment in Las Vegas. New York socialite Rachel Uchitel, 34, and Vegas nightclub executive Kalika Moquin, 27, are also said to have had affairs with the golfer. He crashed his car near his Florida home in the early hours last Friday after a huge bust-up with his Swedish wife Elin Nordegren, 29. She is thought to be getting a total re-write of their pre-nuptial agreement and financial incentives to stand by him. The couple are having several relationship counselling sessions a day.