Celebrity Smart-Ass Quotes

[soho2chelsea 3]

I know those times when celebs actually say something quotable and GOOD are rare...so this thread will probably be much shorter than the Dumb-Ass quotes thread...but I thought we should also have a thread for celebrity quotes we actually like. (Quotes that are especially intelligent and/or funny, or quotes that support Truthiness According to ChitChat. )

 

I'll start off with this one from Sandra Oh.

 

"Half of Hollywood is gay - at least the people I run into!"

-Sandra Oh (from US Weekly this week)

Edited May 25, 2006 by soho2chelsea

[Babloo328 0]

What gets me is how many women - young women - give up their power and sense of self. Thinking they're going to get more out of life if they take off their clothes and objectify themselves, instead of functioning on the principle that they're smart and capable, that you can be an actress and not be on the covers of T&A magazines. I'm flabbergasted by how many legitimate actresses do that. It blows my mind.

-Reese WitherspoonAmen, sistefriend. The first name that popped into my mind was Jessica Alba. Of course, she's not a legitimate actress, but it still applies to a certain extent.

[tyler 408]

I agree about the T&A magazines, but I don't think the kind of shots that she is talking about are limited to T&A magazines -- what about those recent shots of Jenna Elfman, et al for some european magazine or some of the shots that appear in Vanity Fair.Are they any less T&A because they appear in more legitimate magazines.Maxim doesn't have the market cornered.*snark alert*Maybe Reese just hasn't been asked.

[Babloo328 0]

*snark alert*Maybe Reese just hasn't been asked.

I actually agree with you and what Reese said. I think objectifying women is a very deplorable thing that continues to be rampant.::steps off soap box::I'm actually pretty sick and tired of Reese. She comes off as those phony Southern bitches I've had to deal with every freaking day of my life. She seems constantly chipper and perky but then when your back is turned she'll say the most hateful things about you. I definitely think she's just a hateful bitch that got a lucky break even though I loved her in Legally Blonde and Election. It's just something about her that irks the shit out of me.

[tyler 408]

She seems constantly chipper and perky but then when your back is turned she'll say the most hateful things about you.

Sounds like my in-laws -

[Cutielb99 0]

"We really had fun together. I mean, she's not going to be having our child in Namibia, but we really enjoyed working with each other."

– Luke Wilson, on his relationship with My Super Ex-Girlfriend costar Uma Thurman, to David Letterman

[Cutielb99 0]

"The person I feel saddest for is Britney."~ Paula Abdul, after watching Kevin Federline perform his single "Lose Control" at the awards

[tyler 408]

"The person I feel saddest for is Britney."~ Paula Abdul, after watching Kevin Federline perform his single "Lose Control" at the awards

God, how desperate does your life have to be when Paula Abdul feels bad and is embarassed for you.

[Freckles 79]

Wow. I thought I was the only one who mistrusted Reese! I've heard that she can have lovely manners when she wants but is often just and icy witch who lets those around her know that she is NOT impressed by them, or anyone besides herself, for that matter.

[Cutielb99 0]

MOVING TARGET

Page Six

 

August 24, 2006 -- MARGARET Cho isn't high on Atlanta these days. "Atlanta is not particularly a walking city, [but] when you do walk, you become a moving target of sorts . . . I got hit today with a classic, 'Me love you long time!' " the comic says on her Web blog. "I am often glad that I am not armed . . . even though it is the sorriest excuse of a sexual advance, and then they left without wanting to know if I had accepted the offer."

[Cutielb99 0]

"My great triumph is not falling ass over tit as I came up those stairs."

 

~ Helen Mirren, accepting her Emmy for the HBO miniseries Elizabeth I

[Cutielb99 0]

"Wolverine I could have lost to ... he has claws for hands."~ Stephen Colbert, complaining that he lost the best variety performer Emmy, for which Hugh Jackman was also nominated, to Barry "The Copacabana" Manilow

[Cutielb99 0]

Al Gore got a hearty chuckle out of the audience at the VMAs when he said, "I hear Justin Timberlake is bringing sexy back, so here I am."

[Cutielb99 0]

Tab Fab, 9.8.06:

 

"[John Mark Karr is] the Paris Hilton of pedophiles. He was famous for doing nothing."

 

--Bill Maher on Larry King Live, quoted by Star.

 

Of course, looking at it another way, Maher is the Paris Hilton of TV comedians. He thrives on being stylishly nasty in public.

[Cutielb99 0]

"I gave up trying to be cool at 16, and never looked back."

– The Office's Rainn Wilson, being unapologetic for sharing traits with his character, uber-dweeb Dwight Shrute, to Rolling Stone

[rabbit 0]

"I went to Heath Ledger's house once (no, not because I "hang out with celebrities"; it was only because he lived, at the time, in my neighborhood and we had heard that there was a party nearby at "some dude's house") and when I met him someone called his phone. I asked, "Who was that", and his reply was, "My dealer". Yes, indeed, it was in fact "his dealer". The dude was on the phone with his cocaine dealer. I couldn't believe it, and being the (sometimes) bold person that I am, I then asked, "Oh, so you're into that sorta thing, huh?" He said, "Yeah", and I walked out. It was pathetic. I couldn't believe it. I had heard that "a lot of celebrities were doing 'coke'", but that pretty much sealed it for me."

- Jason Lee, on Heath Ledger

 

http://viewaskew.com/theboard/viewtopic.ph...ghlight=#968373

[soho2chelsea 3]

Reposted with thanks to Trizzie

 

Usmagazine.com

Scarlett Johansson Bravely Refuses to Starve Self

 

Don't count on Scarlett Johansson to turn into one of those Hollywood actresses that suddenly drops a bunch of "baby fat" (it's not baby fat if you are old enough to actually have a baby) and credits an impromptu boost in metabolism. The Black Dahlia star is speaking out against the Hollywood slim fast trend, calling it "unsexy," Starpulse blog reports.

 

"I try to stay fit and eat healthily, but I'm not anxious to starve myself and become unnaturally thin," she says. "I don't find that look attractive on women and I don't want to become part of that trend. It's unhealthy and it puts too much pressure on women in general who are being fed this image of the ideal, which it is not.

 

She continues: "I think America has become obsessed with dieting rather than focusing on eating well, exercising and living a healthy life. I also think that being ultra-thin is not sexy at all. Women shouldn't be forced to conform to unrealistic and unhealthy body images that the media promote. I don't need to be skinny to be sexy."

[Cutielb99 0]

''In the West Bank, a group calling itself the Lions of Monotheism firebombed four churches, telling the Associated Press, 'The attacks...were carried out to protest the Pope's remarks linking Islam and violence.' The irony — and this is often the case, we find — was completely lost on them.''

JON STEWART, ON THE DAILY SHOW

[Cutielb99 0]

"Mel has a new movie out. It's about the end of the Mayan civilization. And guess whose fault that was?"

– David Letterman

[BobbyD 2]

O'Toole Smuggled Vodka Into Oscars

 

 

Legendary hell-raiser Peter O'Toole nearly missed out on picking up his Honorary Oscar in 2003 after he threatened to leave the ceremony because of the award show's strict no-alcohol rules. It was only after a bottle of vodka was smuggled in to appease the Lawrence Of Arabia star, that he decided to stay and collect the award. He says, "I enjoyed it (The Oscars.) The only thing that wasn't enjoyable was in the green room. I said, 'Can I have a drink?' 'We have lemon juice, apple juice, still or sparkling.' I said, 'No, I want a drink. No drink?' I said, 'All right, I'm f**king off. I'll be back.' A man with earphones said, 'No! No!' Eventually this vodka was smuggled in."

 

 

Ok, I love some Peter O'toole....

[ashley_hm2005 0]

These are both quotes from Bill Maher

 

Dick Cheney feels responsible for his daughter being a lesbian because growing up, she heard him say 'go f--k yourself' so many times, she finally tried it.

 

 

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

[BobbyD 2]

Chicks aren't afraid to be heard

 

Natalie Maines — the Dixie Chick who made those controversial comments about George W. Bush — has kind words for another Bush basher.

 

“Some people call me brave, but I don’t think what I did was brave at all. Brave is Kanye West, after Hurricane Katrina, saying George Bush doesn’t care about black people,” Maines tells the December issue of Playboy magazine; the interview goes on-line on Friday. “That was one of the greatest television moments of all time. I would never have said that. I’m a coward compared with him. It was so honest and sincere, and he knew what he was going to say. I would have chickened out. That was just so brave. And true.”

 

Maines' bandmate Emily Robison believes that the backlash to the comments were so harsh because the Dixie Chicks are women. “Read the stuff on the Internet: ‘Just tell that [rhymes with ‘witch’] to shut up,’” Robison told Playboy. “They don’t want to hear mouthy women to begin with. A guy would have been an outlaw, the Johnny Cash or Merle Haggard of his generation.”

[BobbyD 2]

U.S. acting "needs some help," says veteran Burstyn

Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:25am ET

 

More Entertainment News... Email This Article | Print This Article | Reprints [-] Text [+] By Steve James

 

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Ellen Burstyn, winner of an Oscar and a Tony, nominee for numerous Golden Globes and Emmys, and co-president of the famed Actors Studio, is not very happy with the standard of American acting these days.

 

She's not naming names, but Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg and Alec Baldwin can breathe easy. She loved their performances in Martin Scorsese's new movie, "The Departed."

 

But Burstyn does believe that the demands of television have lowered standards as actors rush from studio to studio with little time to hone their craft on stage.

 

"Acting? I think it needs some help," she told Reuters in a recent interview. "TV has lowered the bar. With quicker schedules everything is rushed, so the quality gets lowered."

 

Broadway, she said, is in terrible shape. "I am appalled. (I saw) a couple of things that were billed as good, but they were shockingly bad. I can't recommend anything on Broadway."

 

Burstyn, who has just published a memoir, "Lessons in Becoming Myself," has earned the right to criticize. In a 50-year career, she has appeared on Broadway, in Hollywood and on television. She won the Best Actress Academy Award for 1974's "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore" and has a total of six Oscar nominations, seven Golden Globe nominations, a Tony award for "Same Time, Next Year" and an Emmy nomination.

 

That Emmy nomination was controversial because it came for a 14-second role, in which she spoke 38 words in the TV movie "Mrs. Harris." She did not win.

 

Burstyn was the first female president of Actors Equity and is co-president, with Harvey Keitel and Al Pacino, of the Actors Studio. That's where she studied with the legendary Lee Strasberg, founder of the technique known as "The Method," in which actors look inward to find the emotional truth of a scene, using their own feelings and empathy.

 

Long hailed as one of America's finest actresses, her film credits include "The Last Picture Show," "The Exorcist," "Providence," and "The King of Marvin Gardens." Her latest movie, "The Fountain," with Rachel Weisz and Hugh Jackman, is being released this month.

 

'NOT MY CENTURY'

 

Like Dirk Bogarde, her co-star in Alain Resnais' 1976 film, "Providence," and whose elegant autobiography is the gold standard in Hollywood, she wrote hers entirely herself.

 

"I wrote the whole thing in longhand," she said. "I am more comfortable with that than with a typewriter or a computer. This is not my century, if I had a choice I would ride around in a horse and buggy!"

 

The book chronicles how Edna Rae Gillooly, born in Detroit during the Depression, left her domineering mother and strict Catholic upbringing to become a big Hollywood star. She also writes about spiritual growth, traveling the world in search of enlightenment, before finally embracing Sufism, a mystical offshoot of traditional Islam.

 

"It is highly unusual for a celebrity to write their own book, but I would hate someone else to write my story, it's a very personal thing," said Burstyn. "I am agonizing now. Did I really have to be so candid? But you tell the story as it was. If you don't like it, sorry, but it was how it was."

 

A lifelong keeper of a daily journal, she had written down just about everything about her life, but it wasn't until she had a dream in 1980 about writing that she started the book.

 

She recalls working with Hollywood greats such as Scorsese, Nicholson, William Friedkin, Bob Rafelson and Jodie Foster.

 

But she also writes about raising her son, mostly on her own, and how that translated to her ground-breaking role as a single mother in "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore."

 

More than anything, though, the book is about a woman's journey to self-awareness after rejecting her family's religious background.

 

"I got to the point where I realized the Catholic Church would reject me. I did not play by their rules, so I went 10 years without any spiritual practice in my life, as Sartre said: 'There was a God-shaped hole.'

 

Sufism, she said, is inclusive and uses teachings from all great teachers, Jesus, Mohammed, Martin Luther King, Gandhi.

 

"If you want to know who you truly are, the answer won't be found in the outer world; you must go inside and see where your instincts lead you," Burstyn writes.

 

 

© Reuters 2006. All Rights Reserved.

[rabbit 0]

^^^

 

God, I her!

[Cutielb99 0]

"Have you folks seen the new Mel Gibson movie, Apolcalypto? Well, it's apparently – the whole movie is in ancient Mayan, and I'm thinking to myself, 'If I want to see a movie that's incomprehensible in language, well, I'll just go see Rocky Balboa..' "

– David Letterman