Lindsay Lohan still broke and a mess

[theempress 80]

 

I guess beauty and a smoking-hot body are not needed when one has infamy? She has no waist/hips, funky legs, used to have a cute face. I don't know why anyone would pay to see Playboy pics of her.

[Maxiemom 623]

At minimum, I hope they manage to Photoshop her teeth.

 

The countdown to porn begins in 5, 4, 3, 2....

[Serendipity 12]

I don't care how well she's photoshopped, the thought of viewing her naked, drug-addled body is gross.

[Hoyaheel 1,874]

At minimum, I hope they manage to Photoshop her teeth.

She had her teeth fixed last week before one of the court appearances, I thought - Gawker had photos.....(veneers I assume) I'll see if I can find....

 

 

ETA link: http://gawker.com/5851751/lindsay-lohan-sk...thy-teeth-fixed

 

 

(no, I still don't want to see her in Playboy....)

Edited October 26, 2011 by Hoyaheel

[princess 1,712]

Didn't her manager/agent just quit/get fired? Then she does Playboy. Awesome. This one really does need the Princess Bitch-Slap services.

[princess 1,712]

TMZ

 

Lindsay Lohan didn't wuss out for her Playboy shoot -- TMZ has learned, the actress will BARE ALL in her upcoming spread ... i.e. the holy trifecta ... or as one source close to Playboy put it, "boobs, ass, and vag."

 

As we previously reported, Lindsay recently locked down a nearly-million-dollar deal with PB for a full pictorial -- and yesterday, she finally wrapped her 4-day shoot.

 

Reports circulated Lindsay would pull one of those lame semi-nude fiascos -- all sideboob, no fun -- but sources close to Hef & co. tell us, that is NOT the case. Lindsay did insist the photos be "tastefully done," but we're told she's still going the full monty.

 

It's unclear when Lindsay will grace the cover -- but it could be the life-giving jolt Playboy needs for a comeback.

[Maxiemom 623]

You may as well slap the whole family, Princess. Apparently Ali was at the shoot too....and apparently with Dina's blessing:

 

http://www.hollywoodlife.com/2011/10/26/li...oy-photo-shoot/

 

I'd be careful with Michael though as he is apt to slap back and feign a heart attack.

[princess 1,712]

You may as well slap the whole family, Princess. Apparently Ali was at the shoot too....and apparently with Dina's blessing:

 

http://www.hollywoodlife.com/2011/10/26/li...oy-photo-shoot/

 

I'd be careful with Michael though as he is apt to slap back and feign a heart attack.

Better price-per-slap rate with Linds, Mom & Dad all in the mix, but may need to add the extra run-like-hell-post-slap fee too Or maybe I'll just jump the gun and feign a heart attack/menzies/migraine combo while Michael is still reeling from his slap

[Hoyaheel 1,874]

TMZ

 

"boobs, ass, and vag."

I stole this line from someone else, but - are they bringing the speculum to the photo shoot? Because otherwise, it's 'boobs, ass & labia"

[annabeast 24]

I'm tellin' ya, Dana Plato 2.0.

[princess 1,712]

Michael Lohan Arrested AGAIN

Falls 3 Stories, Drugs, Booze Involved

TMZ

 

Michael Lohan was just arrested AGAIN in Florida after allegedly contacting his GF Kate Major -- and law enforcement tells TMZ, he tried to escape by jumping off a 3rd-story balcony ... and plummeting 34 feet to the ground ... and cops say drugs and alcohol were involved.

 

According to law enforcement sources, Tampa police responded to a call early this morning from Kate, who claimed Michael had been trying to contact her by phone and wouldn't leave her alone.

 

We're told officers interviewed Kate at her apartment after she made the call -- the same apartment where Michael allegedly bruised her up earlier this week -- and while they were there, Michael allegedly called again.

 

According to law enforcement, officers believed Michael was a "threat" -- so they rolled up to his hotel to arrest him.

 

But here's the crazy part -- law enforcement tells TMZ, Michael tried to escape by hopping his 3rd story balcony ... but fell 34 feet to the ground, crashing onto some wooden chairs ... and then he tried to hide in some trees.

 

After officers pulled him down, Michael was placed under arrest for violating a condition of his pretrial release (presumably for contacting Kate) ... and resisting arrest without violence.

 

Michael is currently back in custody -- at the same jail he was released from less than twelve hours ago.

 

UPDATES

 

5:30 AM -- Michael is currently in the hospital getting a possible foot injury checked out.

 

6:08 AM -- Kate Major has released a statement to TMZ ... saying, "I am sick of being lied about by Michael Lohan Sr.'s false allegations about his continual physical and mental abuse toward me."

 

"Obviously the judge was correct when questioning if he could 'read.'"

 

She adds, "He has no regard for the justice system. He can beat up women but Mr. tough guy who slurred his words calling me 5 times after getting out of jail wasn't too tough by jumping off a 3rd floor balcony into a tree to try to flee from going back to the same jail he just got released from less than 12 hours ago"

 

"Maybe they have phonics books in jail!"

 

Also, TMZ has video of Michael at the karaoke bar in the hotel the same nite all this happened.

[princess 1,712]

Lindsay Lohan

$1 Million Offer

from Sex Toy Company

TMZ

 

Lindsay Lohan's genitals are a friggin' gold mine -- because Playboy's million dollar baby has just received ANOTHER million dollar offer from a sex toy company ... TMZ has learned.

 

The honchos from an adult entertainment company called FleshLight have fired over a letter to Lohan's reps ... hoping to seal a deal with the actress which would allow the company to take a mold of LiLo's lady parts to produce "authentic" Lindsay Lohan sex toys.

 

Shockingly, the practice of genital molding is not that uncommon in the world of adult entertainment ... loads of XXX actresses -- including Jesse Jane and "Nailin' Palin" star Lisa Ann -- have copied their private parts for sex toys.

 

We're told Lindsay hasn't seen the offer yet ... but sources close to the actress tell us, "She would never accept such an offer for any amount of money."

 

As TMZ first reported, Lindsay is going full frontal for Playboy ... but only agreed to the deal because she felt the photos would be "tasteful."

[princess 1,712]

TMZ is cracking me up today!!!

 

 

 

 

Michael Lohan

The Hannibal Lecter Jail Entrance

TMZ

 

If we didn't know better, we would have guessed cops were transporting a dangerous serial killer in Tampa moments ago -- but no ... it was just Michael Lohan arriving to jail.

 

As we previously reported, Michael was transferred to a local hospital Thursday morning after his arrest -- when he fell 34-feet from his hotel balcony ... in what cops believe was an attempt to escape.

 

Michael was brought back to jail today in a wheelchair ... and it was hilariously suspenseful -- check the footage. It goes great with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

 

UPDATE:

 

3:55 PM: And for good measure, here's MiLo's brand spankin' new mug shot. Hello, Clarice.

 

[princess 1,712]

Lindsay Lohan

Sentenced to 30 Days in Jail

TMZ

 

Lindsay Lohan will serve 30 days in jail, and the judge is holding her on a tight leash to make sure she completes her probation.

 

Lindsay admitted she violated her probation by not attending therapy sessions as required by the court and by getting kicked out of the Downtown Women's Center.

 

The judge now says ALL of Lindsay's community service must now be served at the L.A. County Morgue. And the judge gave Lindsay a tight structure on how she must complete the rest of her probation, and if she doesn't the judge will put a warrant out for her arrest and sentence her to an additional 270 days in jail.

 

As for the 30 days Lindsay is getting now -- the judge made it clear ... NO HOUSE ARREST.

 

The Sheriff's Dept. tells us Lindsay will serve 20% of the 30 days -- 6 days in jail.

 

Judge Stephanie Sautner gave Lindsay a strict schedule on completing the rest of her probation -- by December 14, she must have completed 12 days at the morgue and 4 psychotherapy sessions. By January 17, another 12 days at morgue and 4 psychotherapy sessions. And so on. Everything must be completed by March 29 -- or she goes directly to jail for 270 days.

 

The judge clearly thinks Lindsay needs a rigid structure to complete her sentence, and as the judge put it, Lindsay is holding the keys to the jail cell.

 

And the judge strongly suggested Lindsay stop tweeting about her experiences at the morgue.

 

At the end, Lindsay seemed happy, walking out of court saying, "Thank God," under her breath.

 

Sources in the courtroom tell us that when the judge got off the bench she remarked about Lindsay, "She looks good today."

[princess 1,712]

After the court apt, the paps put on the mics and see who wants to talk. Some wanker prison priest got up first, said he represented Michael Lohan and that his thoughts are with his daughter, blah blah blah. Michael needs to be kicked in the balls. Hard.

[Maxiemom 623]

After the court apt, the paps put on the mics and see who wants to talk. Some wanker prison priest got up first, said he represented Michael Lohan and that his thoughts are with his daughter, blah blah blah. Michael needs to be kicked in the balls. Hard.

 

Well, Michael Lohan DOES know a thing or two about jail.......

[princess 1,712]

After the court apt, the paps put on the mics and see who wants to talk. Some wanker prison priest got up first, said he represented Michael Lohan and that his thoughts are with his daughter, blah blah blah. Michael needs to be kicked in the balls. Hard.

 

Well, Michael Lohan DOES know a thing or two about jail.......

 

Tee hee, *snort*, throw-up-in-my-mouth-a-little

 

And issuing press release thru his priest is how most jail bait families do it.

[annabeast 24]

Best part of the whole thing: when the judge said she looked into another women's shelter and they said they didn't want Linsday around because "they think you are a bad example to women trying to get back on their feet". The look on Lindsay's face was AWESOME!!!

[fykeylicious 1,099]

Best part of the whole thing: when the judge said she looked into another women's shelter and they said they didn't want Linsday around because "they think you are a bad example to women trying to get back on their feet". The look on Lindsay's face was AWESOME!!!

anyone have a pic of this? I really need to see it.

[annabeast 24]

Best part of the whole thing: when the judge said she looked into another women's shelter and they said they didn't want Linsday around because "they think you are a bad example to women trying to get back on their feet". The look on Lindsay's face was AWESOME!!!

anyone have a pic of this? I really need to see it.

 

TMZ has the video, it is in the sentencing phase.

[Maxiemom 623]

Lindsay Lohan checks in and out of LA County jail

APAP – 2 hours 22 minutes ago

 

 

 

LYNWOOD, Calif. (AP) — Lindsay Lohan was released from a Los Angeles County jail early Monday, less than five hours after she arrived at the suburban women's lockup to serve a 30-day sentence for violating probation.

 

The "Mean Girls" actress was booked into the Century Regional Detention facility in Lynwood at 8:50 p.m. Sunday, in what was expected to be a short stay because of jail overcrowding.

 

Deputy Tony Moore said Lohan was released early Monday, but didn't have an exact time. News crews staking out the jail said she left at 1:40 a.m. in a black Cadillac Escalade sport utility vehicle, and that she was in her Venice home by 2 a.m.

 

Lohan had until Nov. 9 to report to the jail.

 

It's Lohan's fifth jail sentence since being arrested twice for drunken driving in 2007.

 

On Wednesday, a judge ordered jail time because Lohan recently violated court orders by getting booted from a community service assignment at a women's shelter.

 

The judge imposed a complicated sentence, telling Lohan that she will now have to perform all of her community service at the county morgue or risk serving an additional 270 days in jail.

 

The sentence also requires Lohan to undergo psychotherapy sessions and appear monthly at court hearings between December and March.

 

The judge also said Lohan can no longer leave the country and needs the permission of her new "no-nonsense" probation officer to travel outside California.

 

Jail overcrowding has led to significantly shortened jail terms.

 

In 2007, Lohan spent 84 minutes at the jail before being released, and in the past she has served about 20 percent of her sentence, which is roughly six days.

 

Lohan will have to serve 423 hours at the county morgue, where for nearly two weeks she has been mopping floors, cleaning bathrooms and washing dirty sheets.

 

 

____________________________

 

I don't think anybody on this planet was expecting her to serve the full sentence, but really....5 hours for her 5th sentence??? Jail obviously hasn't done her any good so why not just spare the taxpayers the expense of the dog and pony show.

 

[alpierce 9]

If it wasn't for TMZ covering her revolving door jail sentences, no one would know what is happening with her.

[branchop 319]

So you can get be convicted five times and not physically serve any jail time?

 

If I were Lindsay I would not worry about doing any community service. It obvious she will not be imprisoned.

 

If I did any non-violent crime in California, I would plea out community service or probation. And then not do anything. What's the worse that will happen, I go hang out in jail for half a day.....

[princess 1,712]

California jail system is a mess right now. As long as you are not a felon or violent crime, you'll get out within hours as long as under 90 day sentence (I think that's right...). Have a friend that works in San Diego county jail (local county jail, not state or federal prison). From their prospective, they are emptying everyone out to make room for all the state prison population that is about to be funneled in because of state budget cuts. Guards are freaking out, because you're going to have the job market flooded by a bunch of people with jail records that would have a hard enough time getting a job even in a good economy. After a few months of not being able to pay bills, they'll get into trouble again and end up back in jail. Then the state prison population that got transfered to local county jail are going to be pissed because they no longer have access to TVs, worse food, only outdoor time once a week instead of daily, etc. so they'll have more riots once the transfer happens because their benefits just got taken away. No one is happy right now, and in another few months everyone in the system thinks things are about to go wild....

[annabeast 24]

California jail system is a mess right now. As long as you are not a felon or violent crime, you'll get out within hours as long as under 90 day sentence (I think that's right...). Have a friend that works in San Diego county jail (local county jail, not state or federal prison). From their prospective, they are emptying everyone out to make room for all the state prison population that is about to be funneled in because of state budget cuts. Guards are freaking out, because you're going to have the job market flooded by a bunch of people with jail records that would have a hard enough time getting a job even in a good economy. After a few months of not being able to pay bills, they'll get into trouble again and end up back in jail. Then the state prison population that got transfered to local county jail are going to be pissed because they no longer have access to TVs, worse food, only outdoor time once a week instead of daily, etc. so they'll have more riots once the transfer happens because their benefits just got taken away. No one is happy right now, and in another few months everyone in the system thinks things are about to go wild....

Scary stuff, Princess.